not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay

You are really tired at the moment and you don't feel like being intimate with your husband which is probably why you brushed him off when he tired to hug you - I hear you - I understand - it's more than I want to talk about but I reached a stage of not wanting to be intimate with my ex-h either - he often rubbed me up the wrong way - and Huffnpuff certainly says and does things that aggravate you - why would anyone want to lower their guard with someone who for what ever reason gets under their skin - I would back you up on that one

And of course everyone is annoying you - your mind is buzzing away as fast as it can and you can't sleep - this will pass - I have spells like this and the most important thing is not to worry about it - I read for hours at night sometimes - I feel okay doing this - often I will fall asleep which is not good for my glasses and I have to get the frames adjusted. Can you see if reading at night helps. I know it might be hard to concentrate and when I find this happening sleep often happens and I don't turn the light out - it's too much of a committment - we all need to find our personal way of dealing with insomnia but personally I think worrying about it makes it worse - as I said - it usually passes off

And a house full of adults and a 2 yo - that would annoy me in the best of circumstances - so I get it - I think it's pretty normal

But we don't want you to disappear - how would that help anything? Wherever you go and whatever you do you will still be the same person - we can only change ourselves and we can't change everything at once - atm you are on a weight loss journey - this is a hard one but this is the one you are on. The best thing you can do about the crowded house and Huffnpuff is to find some space for yourself and taking long walks alone sounds pretty good to me -

Also it's part of your personal pattern to have periods of depression - yes - it comes back to not being able to see yourself in the brilliant shades of light and shadow that is how I see myself - you are stuck in a monochrome pattern of life that comes with you BPD - atm a walk is just okay - to you - to us it seems pretty good

Try and take time to yourself today - another walk sounds pretty good to me - or lie down and try for a nap this afternoon - and if the household is noisy take your car down to the back beach for an hour - anything to have time to yourself

You need the peace so hard to find in a house full of people

Dec

I love watching the surf myself

Thsnks @Owlunar

im sitting on the lounge. I will go fir a walk later when it stops raining.

Magbe a sleep is z good idea right now.

Hey @BlueBay I hear the pain and tiredness in your words. No one wants you to disappear. You are loved and valued. Being tired makes everything so much harder. Just a little sleep will make things just than much easier.

Sending you love and strength 💕💕💕💕🌻🌻🌻

Hi @Molliex Thankyou xx ❤️

been tired throws my thoughts out the door.

I had a good sleep on the couch. I really need to go fir a walk but now it’s rsining.

Whst are you doing?

Rain sounds nice though @BlueBay, I love the sound of it.

I'm just doing Sunday chores, folding washing, making beds, a bit of weeding. Keeping occupied 🌻🌻

Yeah I do like the sound of rain too @Molliex

I’m trying to wirk out dinner?? I think I might leave it to the others to wirk out.

Hi @Owlunar @Maggie @Shaz51 @Gazza75 @MDT @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope hope your afternoon is ok ❤️

💙 @BlueBay ....

Hi @BlueBay Just had a late lunch/early dinner here so I can spend most of the rest of the afternoon and evening on school work. Letting others sort out dinner sounds good.

hugs sister @BlueBay