This is unbearable.

Hey @Historylover I'm hearing how unbearable things are for you right now. I'm sorry you're suffering. We are sitting with you and hoping for change. Thank you for letting me know you are safe. Is there anything nice you can do for yourself today? 💝

Nothing, @Paperdaisy., but thank you.

@Historylover

I am going through something similar. It has been going for a week now. Crippling anxiety, sadness, lack of meaningful connection in the real world, social isolation, trauma, ptsd, history of abuse, loss, grief, procrastination, hurt.

Like yourself I did try to attend church many years ago, a buddhist temple, I also attended art classes for 10 years on and off and those things did not create any lasting friendships at all. I do have some old work friends that I have reached out to, but it is not the same as say reliable supportive family.

Relationships take a lot of time to cultivate. Work takes us away from spending time doing that. Also, it has to be a meaningful connection, not a phony one. Listening to your gut instinct as well (your intuition). I saw this comment on youtube once: "your nervous system detects a toxic person before the head and heart does". So you have to be on your guard. Our modern society does not mitigate the threat of toxic people very well, in fact it rewards them with power. From our everyday interactions all the way up to our highest of institutions they bloody dominate!

I have been following the covid conscious community on twitter the past 3 years (people who are disabled/immunocompromised) and are trying to not catch the virus and as a result millions of disabled people are forced to shelter and give up socialising/working/shopping (stuck in their homes) as they know one infection could end them. They feel betrayed by able bodied people who are not willing to take PH precautions to keep them safe, they had to give up so much. They say (about govt's and society's response to the pandemic) "they have abandoned us, we are on our own now"

Yesterday we were talking about alienation. I use the word abandonment. I think DV survivors can relate to the above. We are forced to break away from maladaptive social settings for our own healing and survival, while we watch the rest of our family rally around the abuser(s) like nothing is wrong. We then have to contemplate the consequences on our own with minimal support or resources if any. It is so unfair. A moral as well as psychic injury. In my case the abandonment was orchestrated by 2 members in two families. The first thing a predator does when the identify their victim is they isolate them, that is how they have power over you-forever.

I remember David Graeber mentioned in ancient hunter gatherer societies you were free to leave a tribe but then could walk into another one and be cared for. The ancient Roman meaning of the word hospitality is "to receive care". He said in the modern era, the tribe has been replaced by family and no other option. Too bad if the family is abusive.

https://proteanmag.com/2022/03/28/primordial-freedoms-an-interview-with-david-wengrow/

"And these systems are basically systems of hospitality, which allow people to leave their natal groups, or even their language groups, and move—often across really impressive distances—knowing very well that somebody of the same clan will be obliged to take them and feed them and incorporate them somewhere else. And of course, this is a very important thing, because if you’re facing ostracism or domination at home, moving away is the most natural thing to do. But it doesn’t work unless there’s somebody to receive you on the other end."

It is well established by now that what we are going through does not mean something is wrong with us, its the culture that is broken. Sitting with you at this time 🙏

Hi @Historylover . Sorry to hear how bleak things have gotten for you. Believe it or not, I've sunk into a similar low point of hopelessness over this past week. Several revelations that our society still hasn't advanced very far at all in terms of addressing the real causes of depression, much less curing them. Everybody still just wants to screw around with suffering people's brains, instead of remedying the shortfalls of their lives.

I was on another prominant mental health website a couple days ago. They had a page there for "People who have lost their job." Very good, I thought. Then I read the webpage, and all it wants to talk about is "checking in on your mental health" and "managing your wellbeing". Not a single word of explaination whatsoever about how to get your next job! Although there is a throwaway line about talking to your bank about getting money, so maybe it's the banks that take care of that for you.

Personally, I'd be very hesitant to trust a bank with giving me a job, because you just know that they'd only be doing it from the perspective of moneymaking. What about romance, comraderie, and job satisfaction? Maybe the most essential reward I need from my job is the deep friendships I have there. Would you trust a bank to respect that? I sure wouldn't.

I'm just shaking my head, looking at this job loss page on this "mental health organization"'s website. These people STILL just don't get it. And these are the so-called experts! God knows how clueless the average layman will still be.

And that was just one of many such blows of disillusionment I've had to confront this week.

I've been urged to contact this organization for further details about getting assistance. I haven't had the heart, as yet. I already have a good idea exactly where it will lead, and the thought of going through all that hassle just to end up nowhere - for the hundredth time - is exhausting.

Sorry for hijacking your thread with a rant about my own currant woes. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I'm in the same boat as you, and I suspect a great many others are, too. I wish I could offer you real solutions, but I'm at just as much a loss as to where they are as you are.

@scruffypuffball, thank you so much for your thoughtful response. You have identified many areas where our situations overlap.

It is said that there are no atheists 'in the trenches', and I've been wondering if I am changing tack for that reason, but I don't think so. I ventured into several other cultural religions but felt that the one in which I grew up was the most natural fit.

I had started out investigating telepathy after I withdrew from my psychology and sociology course. That led to parapsychology with the notion, as posted elsewhere, that our own conscience allows thought and telepathy. We globally share a collective consciousness that allows for remote viewing, precognisance etc., and when we expand further to cosmic/universal consciousness—for me, an avowed and long-standing atheist—I had to question if that was God? Then when we consider the unquestionable psychic abilities of some folk, the question has to be asked—is there a spiritual dimension? They are clearly tapping into something not accessible to everyone. And that really sent me off into a theist realm.

I have listened to many interviews and debates on YouTube since, and I can only conclude that religion has been badly marketed, that it has become too dogmatic, ritualized, and has a bad history. But God didn't do that. Man, and his interpretation and misuse of God did.

When we consider the unimaginable vastness of an expanding universe, what was the catalyst that set off this chain of events that has brought us to this point in our evolution in the vastness of space? I asked a scientist if our consciousness could have been pre-programmed by a creator to bring us to intellectual development sufficient to understand that the only explanation for it all is that there is a creator—like a fail-safe mechanism for a time when Jesus belonged to a time we no longer identify with.

I'm sorry if I sound like an evangelist, but I just can't let this go. I feel that I have a responsibility to commit or not commit to theism. Fence-sitting is not allowed, nor is having 'a bob each way'. Theism is not 'old-fashioned', outdated—it may very well be a scientific reality that takes us far into the future.

In the past 30 or so years, societies globally have seriously broken down—beginning at the level of the family. There is no longer morality or value for human life. And what is the connecting thread? Surely it has to do with the loss of godliness? Sunday trade, once a new introduction, has become so entrenched that many would not know that it was not done in not-so-distant past.

I wonder how few families are untouched by divorce, by alienation, by so-called 'mental illness'. People get to the top by bringing others down—others who don't use such tactics. So, what is the answer? I'd rather not get ahead than to do so at another's expense. Does that make me a fool?

Is there no such thing as proper, moral conduct? I'm no prude, no party-pooper, but where do I go to find people with a moral code and a sense of social responsibility?

I can't see that I will ever fit in anywhere. I never have.

Thank you for listening.

hey. 🫂

did you ever see that movie called 'castaway' ? @Historylover it had Tom hanks in it...

He doesn't use the line "life is like a box of chocolates..." but he does say something about all he could do (even when ending it proved unavailable) "just...keep breathing"

There later comes a point where he is no longer stranded on an island, but waylaid on an open sea, laying flat out on the broken ramnants of a homespun raft...breathing still.

and then something happens.

💛🙏

@chibam, @chibam, here we are treading the same old path. I've been going to check in on you, but sometimes I wonder if I'm making a nuisance of myself. I'm just concerned about you, and I would never like you to think that you could be forgotten when it seems that you are not about. You may be out of sight from time to time, but never out of mind. We've covered some miles together, haven't we?

You didn't hijack the thread. You joined it. I've stopped thinking that there are those out there who can help my situation. It seems that I am the only one who can do that, and I think I have tried everything.

You may have noticed that I am looking into theism. I truly am finding solace there, but belief (very serious consideration) in the reality of God, and religious ritual as practised, are not necessarily yet aligned to my current understanding. I don't want to be brainwashed without questioning. That's not how I'm trained, and the Bible is a source of considerable need for answers to many questions. I'm treading a new path and finding my way, and if religions can't answer questions, they are not doing their job.

I'm so sick of talk about 'mental health'. It is the current plague—a roundabout from which I would like to be flung off! I just want to be part of the human race. Everyone has vulnerabilities of one sort or another; we are all human and it's time everyone learnt to truly help others when required, not just go through the motions.

Do unto others as we would have others do unto us is an excellent motto. Time everyone started remembering it.

We'll get through this, @chibam. Responses from my online friends has given me a reprieve from the abject misery I was immersed in. Thank you.

Is that the one with Wilson as his co-star, @Kyle1? Do you think I should buy a basketball?

I'm looking forward to 'something' happening. I hope it's good.

Thank you for responding. I hope you're doing alright.

@Paperdaisy, @scruffypuffball, @chibam, @Kyle1, love and kisses to you all for your responses. You've pulled me out of a very dark place. Thank you. xxxx

TW: DEATH

@Historyloveri think it is more than 30 years, we are on the decline. Thinking of Engel's social murder he coined in the late 1800s. This oligarchy capitalist techno feudal dumpster fire is incapable of reforming itself in the face of so much so it canibalilses itself instead. Galbraith quoted in one of his books "People of privilege will risk their own annihilation than give up their privilege"

As I witnessed mum dying, (she fell off her bed and landed on her face, she died bruised and alone) and being helpless to do anything with staff shortages and covid running rampant in the ward, I thought this is what collapse looks like. There is no dignity in collapse not for the dying or the living. This is why we look for meaning, morality in a morally deficient culture where the wealth does not trickle down, the psychopathic traits of the oligarchs trickle down. Consumption replaced Sunday mass that's what happened. (btw I am not that religious as I think the same people who run this dumpster fire are the same people who have hijacked religion (even centuries ago), and in modern times turned it christo-fascist). Jesus was an activist, he started a mass movement and was assassinated. His movement has been hijacked ever since. The ancient definition of redemption is "and forgive them their debts", it was to do with inequality had nothing to do with "sin".

You are not alone in wanting moral clarity. I have been doing the same and it has been healing for me-maybe that is what godliness is. I saw a comment in another post of yours and you used the word restoration. Yes that's it. I grew up in such moral depravity that moral clarity is a way to restore myself to heal.