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Something’s not right

(not actually) Coping with things.

(not actually) Coping with things.

Urghhh. Things feel really hard at the moment.

I spent the weekend in the emergency department on forms. I was sent home when the consultant came and saw me today because there were no beds and as I hurt myself in the ED the day before couldn't guarantee my safety so there

was no point in me being there.

I cried to my psychologist when I go home as I couldn't get into the house and broke down about how I planned to end my life. I then was talked down until I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon. The plan was to get admitted but there's no beds anywhere across the city. So yet again I was sent home.

Now I'm home. I don't know what to do. There were supposed to have another carer on for me this evening but they've just been in the office all shift. I feel hopeless and overwhelmed.

My psych team told me not to go back to ed because of the strain on the ed system at the moment.

So where does that leave me. Idk. I'm safe enough for now.i think. But idk. My psychiatrist gave me some extra meds. The plan is to wait until a bed becomes available. I feel in limbo..

Maybe the chat here will help. I just want a space where I can be heard and not judged. A place to feel safety and warmth. A space where people get it.

Thanks for listening to my rant about my day. I'm exhausted.

208 replies

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In response to: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

The Swan River.....

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

I'm tired....I don't want to exist rn.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Sorry to hear this @The-red-centaur . I've sent you an email and hoping you can respond soon.

I do love that artwork though. I hope you find some peace in the process of doing that.

Warmest wishes

Hanami

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

@hanami I don't feel safe and don't know how to communicate that with my nurse

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

I'm sorry to hear this @The-red-centaur .

It's important you get the support you need right now. It seems like you are in the best place to get support at this moment. Seize the opportunity?

Can you speak to someone during medication time?

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

@tyme I spoke to the nurses, they locked me out of my room and took away what I was planning to use.

I saw Dr amd I'll be safe.

I'm tried. They have me a bunch of meds and I'll have my night early and just go to bed.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

It'd kinda weird being home.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

I tried getting back to my social card group today. I felt lost and a sense of dread. I didn't sleep last night so I played terribly and left early. I can't function.

I've been staring at my wall thinking I should just hurt myself, no one cares anyway.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Actually I care and wouldn't like you to hurt yourself @The-red-centaur , especially now you've got through that wretched last week. It's after 10 in the east so I'll be heading off soon, having had a couple of bad nights.

Would you consider an early night yourself?

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

@Dimity I'm sorry you're having some bad nights. I hope you sleep well.

As for me, I don't think I'll be sleeping again. My head feels like it's on fire. I can't stop hearing things. I think harm would just be easier.

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