Winter solstice

Merry Christmas and hugs @Dimity

I am sorry your other eye has a blind spot, but hope intervention proves helpful. I have bee through a dark place recently and you have helped me immensely. Lets hope the wheel turning and the pivoting allows for joy and healing.

To all of you @Shaz51 @NatureLover @AuntGlow @tyme

In this universe we are given two gifts: the ability to love, and the ability to ask questions. Which are, at the same time, the fires that warm us and the fires that scorch us.

~ Mary Oliver, from The Two Gifts, Upstream, Selected Essays

Hmm. I fear asking questions. As a child they too often either incited anger or were completely ignored. And at times I'm inarticulate and can't even find the words.

My question for today is how can I move forwards today? @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @NatureLover

Hey @Dimity

Kindness to self... would be my answer to your question.

I wasnt able to ask questions as a child, or an adult much, cept within limited roles at work etc. Nobody had the time or the knowledge to answer anyway, except for my father but he wasnt allowed to talk to me much. Hmmmm.

I do remember learning about open and closed questions when I studied counselling and read about parenting ...I try to be open. Saw enough rigidity growing up.

Nowadays in my writing I find myself asking a lot of rhetorical questions.

So I guess that suggests my trait openness. That my mind is finally leaning in that direction.

@NatureLover @tyme @AuntGlow @Shaz51

@Appleblossom I learnt about open and closed questions when studying for change in direction. Then neutral questioning became the go-to. Personally I found empathy, interest, and curiosity helped.

Saw this today. https://theconversation.com/what-loving-kindness-meditation-is-and-how-to-practice-it-in-the-new-year-270984?utm_medium=article_clipboard_share&utm_source=theconversation.com

@Appleblossom you said "Is there anyway someone can come to your house to feed the cat rather than cattery. You probably know what you are doing. "

No, I have noone close by. A rello the other side of Melb offered to take him but I think the cattery would be less stressful for all and certainly more contained.

Hmm don't really know what I'm doing other than being in caretaking mode. He's a lovely old boy but struggling at times and it's distressing for both of us. I'm very watchful. There are still good moments.

Hope your cats are well and bringing you joy.

@Dimity

Its sad watching our pets age and have those issues, but nice having memories. Bitterweet. Caretaker mode is enough. Do what you need to do.

Yes, the presence of my cats, lifts me out of my ruminating and low mood. There little behaviours surprise and delight, and my son loves to talk about them, notice and appreciate. SO I start to wear a smile than my more anxious look. Ach! the power of love and animals.

Are you planning to watch any movies as distraction for the evening. We might. My son is thinking of David Lynch ... will see what we see ...

I am going to shop and physio now.

Hugs @NatureLover @AuntGlow @Shaz51 @tyme

I don't have a TV @Appleblossom and haven't streamed on my tablet for ages. Hope you and your son enjoyed your evening.

Whew, we made it to 2026. Read this https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/tired-burnt-out-2025-how-to-recover/7xv4okk1x and recognised I feel burnt out. So will do what I can - gently - and give myself some grace.

Perhaps you're in the same boat @NatureLover .

@Dimity

You have had plenty of stress, with the operation and difficult family dynamics. I am glad you plan to go gently with yourself.

I can go 6 months without watching movies or series, but been back watching lately. Seeing things with my son is good bonding. We just use a lap top.

Cooeee

@NatureLover @Shaz51

Reminder re getting over the burnout:

Cut back on screen time
Get outside
'Curate your time'
Get back in balance
Let your brain rest
Disconnect from news and social media

It was perihelion yesterday, the earth's closest approach to the sun.

The evenings are noticeably darker already.

I was jolted yesterday by a message from an estranged family member.

I've struggled alone for such a long time, I've been stuck in a time warp. It will be glaringly obvious to them. And I expect hostility.

I've been telling myself I'm in recovery but I've hardly changed at all, and my home is a relic of years of perhaps not neglect, but ineptitude. I'm painfully aware of my failings.

Over the next week I'll be deciding whether I can face confronting a lifetime of hurt by submitting to a new course of EMDR. The psychologist is confident it will be empowering and make a profound difference. But my fear is strong.

And In the past I've found waves of recollections destabilising.

@AuntGlow @Appleblossom @NatureLover