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Something’s not right

Winter solstice

Winter solstice

Longest night of the year and the darkness and coldness have really hit. Things seem really bleak. I've been struggling for a long time and was pacing myself to this point but can't see beyond it. I'm safe but despairing. I'm trapped in a vortex of family dysfunction from earliest years and emotional pain, received and (mea culpa) inflicted. I can't help my closest sibling - all others are estranged - and I don't seem able to extricate myself from personal difficulties and dilemmas that at present ďefine me - I have no connections or other identity. I've lost faith in my mh team.

I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, and I'll keep taking one day at a time, but I can't envision a future, my future.

1445 replies

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In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I suspect CAC and The Upper Room offered the same resource @Appleblossom. CAC do attribute when they quote but I've lost the post so can't check.

I think RR is still with us, although other CAC faculty have departed recently.

I don't know the Franciscan tradition but would like to learn more. All I have are snippets and impressions.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

The basics are his rejection of his father’s businessman approach… turning to fundamentals of survival, leading to love of nature, birds, animals and humans and prayer and contemplation.

it was my first non girly choice… for confirmation name…. Mum wanted something like Theresa, but the priest and my father understood… not sure…. But my mother NEVER understood me, or even seemed to try. It was a pattern throughout my life. Often enough I had invisible support that her way was not the only way.

@Dimity

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@Appleblossom I was aware of a bit but just googled a bit more. Didn't know about Duns Scotus although I'd heard of him. Divine immanence with Christ as exemplar makes sense of Gerard Manly Hopkins and Teilhard de Chardin (I'm a fan of both). I vaguely remember a lovely picture book of the canticle of the sun but I doubt I bought it fir a niece or nephew as I don't mention my religious views. I wonder where I saw it? I feel drawn to it and would like to see it again.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

My grandfather was reading Teilhard de Chardin when I was a kid, and encountered GMHopkins in literature. I just always needed thoughtful approaches to life rather than dogmatic. People tend to do their best, but also interpret scripture and doctrine according to their own needs. We all have limitations, and I guess I accept that. @Dimity

I had a funny little synchronicity yesterday when we were talking about Francis. I run into a dad with baby called Francis. I don’t think Jung was very Christian, but I take comfort from silly things, and hence had 2 lovely moments, one bouncing off the other, with 2 separate dad and little kid Dyads at my local shops. We need good men in the world too. Parenting can be hard these days, even though most people have washing machines. Expectations are so high.

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@Appleblossom i find the crying koala quite poignant. Koala crying over the destruction of its territory and, possibly, its life.

whether connected to Winter Solstice or not, I have no idea. Tired of the pain in my back and hands. Have read about plus seen in person the benefits of having the Medial Branch Block done that specialist has suggested, at same time feel so scared about having it done

@rav3n @Jynx

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@Former-Member I had to look Medial branch block up. It seems mainly diagnostic . Not sure what your specialist is, or what the best thing to do is… my arthritis and back and neck pain is getting to me too. At singing yesterday, others were talking about it as well. I do feel it worse in winter. My approach is through functional medicine, movement and music, to calm and relax me. My physio helps. A gp warned me off surgeons!?

we gotta do what we gotta do….

@Dimity @NatureLover @Till23 @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@Appleblossom My doctor has referred me to pain management clinic that is based in a private hospital.


OA in my spine is leaving me in lots of pain in lumber area when standing for too long, that can be as short as 15mins, bending over or laying down.

Pain management specialist suggesting Medial Branch Block which, if successful, to be followed by Radiofrequency Neurotomy. Also has suggested, at some stage after the above, to have medical drug [edited by moderator] Infusion during week long stay in hospital.

50yrs ago I sustained spinal damage to neckline would could have left me paralysed. Thought of having needles near my spine I’m finding very scary.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

oh gosh @Former-Member that pain must be so exhausting to deal with, so glad you're getting some support and treatment soon! totally fair to be scared, i hate needles too - hoping they can provide some sort of anaesthetic and distraction too?

got my fingers crossed that it all goes well and that you finally get some relief 💜

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@Former-Member pushing through pain on a daily basis can't be easy. It's good the specialist offered some options for moving forwards. I'm lucky my lumbar and sciatic pain is mostly low level and intermittent although I was caught by a spasm a few days ago. Friends enjoy yoga but floor exercises are difficult or impossible for me.

Do you return to the specialist soon or are they waiting on your decision?

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@rav3n @Dimity

I have appointment via Zoom booked late next month with pain management doctor to ask all the questions I have plus to advise if I have decided to have the first procedure done.

dr has said if I agreed to have first procedure done the staff will organise consent forms etc so I don’t have to attend the hospital. I will go onto wait list, current wait time is approx 2 to 3 months. May take up to 9 mths before having all 3 procedures done.

I miss going for walks and doing chair yoga plus being able to do my craft items.

All the information I’ve read says no general anaesthetic used, only local anaesthetic into soft tissue around where needles to be inserted. I’ve had vein procedures involving local anaesthetic, not a pleasant experience

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