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Something’s not right

Winter solstice

Winter solstice

Longest night of the year and the darkness and coldness have really hit. Things seem really bleak. I've been struggling for a long time and was pacing myself to this point but can't see beyond it. I'm safe but despairing. I'm trapped in a vortex of family dysfunction from earliest years and emotional pain, received and (mea culpa) inflicted. I can't help my closest sibling - all others are estranged - and I don't seem able to extricate myself from personal difficulties and dilemmas that at present ďefine me - I have no connections or other identity. I've lost faith in my mh team.

I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, and I'll keep taking one day at a time, but I can't envision a future, my future.

1445 replies

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In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I guess at least the appt wasn't damaging for you, @Dimity . Sorry you've come away without any guidance as to what to work on. I have too much homework from my psych appt yesterday - you can have some of mine!

Is your back still giving you grief? 😥

I hope your garden helper will actually do what you ask this time 🤞

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Yes @NatureLover I didn't find the appt damaging, and the therapist seemed to accept me and she did say she's prepared to work with me longterm.

My back, my sciatica and random aches and pains are troubling me a bit. I hope your arthritis isn't too bad. There seems a fine line between trying to stay mobile and exacerbating the problems. I think doing more improves my outlook as well as my fitness so I'll try to persevere. It's early days really, I've only been doing the osteopath exercises a few days and I still have several weeks post-op recovery.

I have no plans for tomorrow. But I guess it would be good to get into the garden.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I'm pleased your therapy appt was so positive (despite the lack of homework), @Dimity . When is your next appt with her?

It does sounds like you're in quite a bit of pain 😥

It looks like no rain in the 7 day forecast, so more watering for us both.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

My next appt is in 4 weeks @NatureLover . Sooner woul be good but I'm mindful of cost.

My aches and pains are bothersome. Perhaps I picked up a virus from the busload of school kids the other day.

We had a shower or two this afternoon but no real rain. Just enough to freshen the air. A lady I passed while walking said how nice it was.

I'm expecting a visitor next weekend. I wonder how much I can tidy before then.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I see, re the 4 weeks @Dimity .

I hope you don't have a virus!! 🤞

We ended up with plent of rain last night. No need to water!

I can work with you this week if you want to tidy together? I'm planning on returning to work on Thursday but can tidy the other days.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I could try to tidy with you tomorrow and Wednesday if you'd like. It looks overwhelming again but I need to try.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I'd like to tidy with you today and tomorrow, @Dimity .

We could check in throughout the day.

For instance, today I slept in and had a long walk and have just finished breakfast now. So I'd like to start tidying at 10.30. I'd like to do between 3-5 hours today - a bit ambitious maybe, but I'll see what I can get done.

On Wednesday I have coffee with friends at 10.30 so will probably only tidy in the afternoon.

Good luck to us both! 🤞

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Thanks @NatureLover . 11 30 and I'm just starting. I'll do an hour at the outset. Starting in the kitchen.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Yay! It motivates me so much to tidy with someone else!

I set myself an hour too and just noticed I'd done an hour and a quarter.

Good luck! @Dimity

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Well that's an hour of chores done. We'll done on your bonus effort @NatureLover

I'll press on after lunch.

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