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Something’s not right

Winter solstice

Winter solstice

Longest night of the year and the darkness and coldness have really hit. Things seem really bleak. I've been struggling for a long time and was pacing myself to this point but can't see beyond it. I'm safe but despairing. I'm trapped in a vortex of family dysfunction from earliest years and emotional pain, received and (mea culpa) inflicted. I can't help my closest sibling - all others are estranged - and I don't seem able to extricate myself from personal difficulties and dilemmas that at present ďefine me - I have no connections or other identity. I've lost faith in my mh team.

I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, and I'll keep taking one day at a time, but I can't envision a future, my future.

1445 replies

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In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I'm glad the social worker seems nice 👍Will you be having ongoing appts with her? @Dimity

I'm sorry to hear that there's a lot about your living circumstances that worries you. 😥

Did the walk clear your head?

I woke up very early again. Feel tired. But have 2 days at home now, so hopefully can achieve great things! (Joking)

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Hey @NatureLover @Dimity ,

Sounds like you've both been busy!

Go easy.

Missing you both and hope you are both okay.

@Dimity , I created the end of year thread: Let's Discuss: Coping with End Of Year Challenges

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Thanks @tyme . I find Christmas a bit stressful usually but this year seems better (after some initial hiccups and uncertainties.

@NatureLover yes I'm hoping to see the social worker again in the new year.

I contacted a support worker again but got the surprising news today I'll also have subsidised help from the local council. Plus a couple of family have offered help around the time of my surgery. All a bit overwhelming! But very nice. I've never had so many offers of help in my life. I feel more pressure than ever to straighten things out and get things under control. I said on the tidying thread a day or two ago I need a Plan...

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Hey @Dimity , that's great news that you get a subsidy for the support. When is your surgery?

Is there anything we can do to make things less stressful for you?

Hey @NatureLover 🙂 Thinking of you.

I've been doing a lot of end of year tidying. I've been donating things to people who need it. So today, someone collected a ute full of stuff. They will come again tomorrow. It feels better than it going to the tip.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

A ute full of stuff!! Wow, @tyme !!

Thanks for your nice messages 🙂

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Really happy to hear you're going to be getting subsidised support from your local council @Dimity ! That's great news 🙂

Will that be just for the period after your surgery, or ongoing?

So pleased you've had multiple offers of help!

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Congrats on repurposing your excess @tyme . I've given a fair bit of stuff to the Brotherhood of St Laurence.

My surgery is the first week of February. I'm nervous of course and also in having domestic help am confronting yet again the need to clear the decks as much as I can. It feels impossible but folks on the hoarding and tidying threads are very encouraging and supportive. I have to deal with stuff across two sites and it's very triggering re past experiences and present relationships. All very complicated and I tend to feel paralysed. It's a bit distressing that I'll be permanently limited in what I can do physically but the timing of the council help is brilliant. I'd enquired with My Aged Care over 6 months ago re short-term help when I had eye surgery coming up and thought they'd ignored or forgotten me but this ongoing help has now come through. I don't yet know what they'll cover but will find out soon.

@NatureLover

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

It's ongoing help @Dimity ? That's fantastic news!

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I'll get a bit of help with housework and home maintenance @NatureLover . I'm not sure what else, I'll have to see.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Well it's been the summer solstice today.

Another pivot to the seasons, another marker in my life. Things haven't changed materially in 18 months but there are glimmers.

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