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Something’s not right

Winter solstice

Winter solstice

Longest night of the year and the darkness and coldness have really hit. Things seem really bleak. I've been struggling for a long time and was pacing myself to this point but can't see beyond it. I'm safe but despairing. I'm trapped in a vortex of family dysfunction from earliest years and emotional pain, received and (mea culpa) inflicted. I can't help my closest sibling - all others are estranged - and I don't seem able to extricate myself from personal difficulties and dilemmas that at present ďefine me - I have no connections or other identity. I've lost faith in my mh team.

I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, and I'll keep taking one day at a time, but I can't envision a future, my future.

1445 replies

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In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I left a message for tyme @Dimity so we'll see what they say 🙂 RiverSeal

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Ah, OK @Dimity 👍

Don't worry, I like feeling distant from my abusive father! And I'm not unhappy at the moment - just exhausted and a bit overwhelmed. The depression is good at the moment (touch wood), due to all the sunshine I think.

How are you feeling today?

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Yes @Dimity ,

We have planned one. I'll be onto it 🙂

Thank you for your post.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Thanks @tyme I'll look forward to the Xmas thread. I was a bit frazzled earlier but soothing myself at the moment writing cards.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I'm very glad to hear your depression has lifted @NatureLover . Hopefully the break from work will let you rest up and get over your feeling of incipient burnout.

I'm anxious, exasperated at times and trying to see how to get through everything. Tried some chamomile tea.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Awww @Dimity , that sounds so hard. I'm glad you were able to connect on the forums a little tonight. Hope that was somewhat helpful.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Thanks, @Dimity .

Sorry to hear you were frazzled and anxious yesterday. Did you find the chamomile tea soothing? (It's meant to be, I believe...am not a fan myself.)

Is your 2 month surgery deadline stressing you?

Sending hugs 🫂

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Yes I think the chamomile tea did help thanks @NatureLover . And it was a big relief when the person who I thought had ghosted me eventually texted me.

I'm stressed about a number of things, including the deadline I can't meet. My living situation and family situation have bothered me for a long time.

I think the cool change is arriving. I think I'll go for a short walk. I'm glad I got onto some decluttering today, a build up of papers in the kitchen. Hopefully it will get easier.

Cheers

Dimity

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Well done on starting to declutter the papers @Dimity .

And I'm glad the person has finally replied to you. Is that the MH social worker?

And what about your living situation is stressing you...is it the clutter?

I haven't achieved any chores today, but I did go out and do a lot of errands, including the chemist and library, plus Bunnings for taller tomato stakes. Plus I finally planted the jasmine this morning. Since then I've been resting.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Well done on today's jobs @NatureLover

Yes. I met the social worker today. She seems very nice.

There's a lot that worries me but I talk about the clutter as it's the one thing I can (or should) control.

I feel very tired but will try to clear my head by going for a walk.

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