Winter solstice

I had several things this week @Nala2022 including medical. Being tired and low may not be just MH, according to tests. Whatever the reasons, I've lost the plot.

Sorry you feel that you've lost the plot, @Dimity 😥

Is there space in your lush garden to sit outside? This weekend looks gorgeous. It helps me to sit outside in the sun, but not sure how you feel about it.

I really like these glimmers @Dimity. I love how nature is always so grounding for you. 🥰

I don't have much sun or a spot to sit in the garden @NatureLover . But I got a bench put in the local pocket park.

It's always hard trying to start again, and I have to do it so often. I just can't seem to stay on track.

I'm sorry I scared you off @Appleblossom. We have a certain amount in common. Ongoing family trauma in addition to c-ptsd. But you engage with the world and other people in the ways that suit you, while I'm a recluse.

I have to reconnect with siblings, particularly one who has many troubles of their own. I say reconnect but the family was always sadly dysfunctional. And I say have to, because my safety and wellbeing are at stake... and, I believe, the safety and wellbeing of the troubled one.

I've been humbled by what you've shared piecemeal of your trauma load and awestruck by your resilience. Thankyou for being here.

And thanks to @NatureLover for ongoing support.

@Dimity I was not scared off, but I try to be sensitive with all my interactions. I see this as your space, and it is good to see you tag me, but I dont want to impose. I was a little worried you were not posting here.

Tbh I am very weary of socialising and am extremely vulnerable and shakey. I cancelled a workshop on the other side of town today. Had dreaded the social snobbery more than longed to play the music, though the repertore was good ranging from Early, classical, Romantic, blues and a piece by a contemporary greenie composer. Stress is adding to my neck flaring up, and I did not feel safe to do the big drive and 5 hour workshop, so threw my money away. It wasn't too expensive, only $45. The lady who runs it, has always been decent and I've known her for 10 years. She travels interstate, and knows how pretentious Melbourne music can be. Sorry to be a downer. Tomorrow, I just have church choir, and asked to play descant.

The weather has cooled a little, which is a relief. I dont mind the rain, but will hold off on washing my curtains, for a sunny day....lol

Yes @AuntGlow Dimity's genuine interest in nature, attracted my friendship. I am not so active in environmental work as I was.

@NatureLover Hey Bella

I know how hard you work at your collaborative and social efforts @Appleblossom ... sorry to hear you weren't up to today's workshop.

I've been unwell a while. I was up most of the night last night and heard of another family problem today... it's ongoing. But even Sisyphus rested overnight.

I must try not to be over reactive, I so often regret it and question my judgment and narrow focus. As my father said I put my foot in it up to the elbow.

Thanks for replying. Enjoy your Sunday.

Thanks @Dimity yes, there is a time for rest and a time for narrow focus. Life is difficult enough, we need to be kind to ourselves, though I was feeling a bit like Sisyphus yesterday.

Sometimes we get active and broader in outlook. Ach! Who knows what is right!

Lots of rain over here.

@Cuddlebear just tagging you here. I've tried a few times to tag you in my Hello thread but if you're using a search function Winter Solstice might be easier to find.

Sorry to see you've had a bit of a bad afternoon. Forum moderation styles seem to vary.

I'd love to catch up on your news and maybe help support you where I can - if you'd like that. I'm retired after various roles in research and tertiary education, bipolar (usually depressed and anxious), with c-ptsd and somewhat problematic eyesight, and am a recovering hoarder. I know you'd been trying to taper to change meds, and you and guidedog Wilbur had an inpatient stay.

I started Hello when I couldn't access my normal threads. This thread is older and alas grouchier. I didn't really want to intrude too much on DogMan's thread when you reached out to me.

@Dimity

Oh boy third attempt as I kept accidentally deleting my reply! I didn’t want to intrude on Dogmans79 thread hence asking if you had a thread where we can chat. I too am a retired academic. Though I did do some research some months ago for a small project after a colleague reached out asking if I could assist. If you want to share what area were you in? Did you enjoy it?

Yes I was in a psychiatric ward called WREN. I was there for 7 weeks and tapered off a medication but also some work was done to try and further stabilise my nervous system. The taper was brutal as my body responds quite harshly to reducing medication and it complicates the chronic medical conditions I have. I was lucky that WREN had an in house compounding pharmacist which was very helpful. The taper was still brutal but less so had I had to taper off the shelf with standard doses. Wilbur was there the whole time which was a big saving grace. He was so very popular and bough not to the other women and staff. I was still very unwell in discharge so it has been rather difficult coming home to being alone with no supports. My nervous system is back to survival mode after making some small gains while I was there. I really needed more time in there to be more stable but it wasn’t possible due high demand of beds. It’s a hard facility to get into so I was lucky my referral was even accepted.

You mentioned also having vision loss. Have you had this for a long time or is it new/slowly declining? I’m deaf and legally blind. It’s a challenging combination. If you ever want to discuss vision loss please feel free to do so.

We share some mental health illnesses too. I have complex PTSD which started in childhood, major depressive disorder, panic and anxiety. I have a lot of symptoms from complex PTSD and depression. My nervous system is a mess back in survival mode after discharge. I’ve just been accepted into a public long term therapy place where I can get therapy for 2 to 3 years weekly. Very lucky to get in as they only have a few psychologists and can’t take on many clients due to those limited resources.