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Something’s not right

Winter solstice

Winter solstice

Longest night of the year and the darkness and coldness have really hit. Things seem really bleak. I've been struggling for a long time and was pacing myself to this point but can't see beyond it. I'm safe but despairing. I'm trapped in a vortex of family dysfunction from earliest years and emotional pain, received and (mea culpa) inflicted. I can't help my closest sibling - all others are estranged - and I don't seem able to extricate myself from personal difficulties and dilemmas that at present ďefine me - I have no connections or other identity. I've lost faith in my mh team.

I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, and I'll keep taking one day at a time, but I can't envision a future, my future.

1444 replies

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In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I wouldn't cope well either, @Dimity . I really feel for you. 🫂

Were your lawns mowed?

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Thanks @NatureLover Yes lawns done, a shrub trimmed, stormwater drain cleared.

He only looks after the common area. I need to catch up with weeding etc in my backyard.

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Do you think there can be restoration with your family @Dimity - if not already?

I can see how much you have been reflecting on what has happened.

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Awwww rats @Shaz51

Do you have a plague where you are? I read that there are plagues of mice around Aust at the moment.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

No , just the one uninvited guest @tyme

Came inside downstairs and ate the bait and died

Hole in the wall is blocked up now 😁

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I remember having travelled to the country during a mouse plague one year. I couldn't even walk down the street without stepping on them @Shaz51 ! It was horrifying!

I feel for the farmers.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

That's why they stopped sugar canes fires as it chased all the rats out

Now they harvest the cane now @tyme and there are still plenty of mice

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

What do you mean @Shaz51 ?

So if they have the fires, and the mice run, then they go to more places? Is that the prob?

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I think a couple of the family have BPD so there are lots of ups and downs @tyme . Well one is diagnosed and another may well have it, as well as other conditions.

It's hard when they accuse me of being deliberately nasty and swear at me when I mean well. Perhaps I'm insensitive or neurodivergent, but I'm teary just reflecting on it. Some people have advised me to give up on them but it's complicated emotionally and financially.

I feel squeamish thinking about mouse plagues! I had a hole chewed in a plasterboard wall that might have been rats.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Yes , that is the problem, rats love sugar cane farms @tyme

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