My Story

Hi Members 🙂

I've been a member for a while but only posted once. Recently my situation has become extremely difficult and I thought perhaps there might be someone going through the same thing or have been through it who could offer me some words of comfort. The CAT Team suggested the Carers Network again.

My son is 34 and lives with me and my partner. He has never left home and has never been able to hold down a job. He has been sacked from every job within days as he just doesn't seem to be able to perform even the simplest of tasks. He spends nearly 24 hours a day in bed playing video games. He is a long-term marijuana user which began after he left school. He suffers from anxiety and spends all his Centrelink money on weed and alcohol. His use of alcohol is fairly recent - over the last 3 or 4 years. That's when things really took a turn for the worse. At least when he was on weed I could have a conversation with him and he was not verbally aggressive. He is up most nights and is often drunk in the early morning when I come down to start work. I work from home, so there is no escape.

I lost a brother to suicide 20 years ago, it was so traumatic. My son often threatens suicide as he knows how it terrifies me and pushes my buttons. I've had the CAT Team here several times, however he will not engage with any mental health professionals of any kind, so they cannot help him or me. He is taking showers up to ten times a day as he says it helps his anxiety. I have had to hide all my towels. I cannot have any alcohol in the house at all as he steals it. He constantly begs for money, says he will engage with health professionals and then goes back on his word. I keep falling for it.

I don't know what to do, I feel like there's no solution. I can't kick him out as I'm terrified he will die and it will be down to me. I feel trapped, but he is my son and I love him. I have tried and tried and tried to get help over the last 15 years, psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, in-patient stays, CAT Team, GPs. Nothing has worked. I do understand that if someone won't accept help then there is nothing you can do. He is also trashing my house.

I guess this is a bit of a rant, sorry. I'm just in a dark place right now and feel like there's no future for him or myself and my partner.