Topic Tuesday// Minds Together: Helping Family and Friends // Tuesday 30th May 2023 5:30-7PM AEST

@TideisTurning , @amber22 , @Sally_Everymind it was very hard , I used to cry in the bathroom and my husband did not want the families to know only myself and his daughter as she has been through it before

over time with the Sane forum I have been able to keep on keeping on even though feeling strange for keeping everything a secret

Suicidal thoughts are not uncommon but are often concerning to hear. While it can be challenging to understand, some people believe they are a burden on others and think their loved ones would be better off without them. People who feel suicidal are experiencing intense emotional pain. They want to stop this pain and see suicide as an answer.

People may talk about suicide directly (e.g., talking about a plan to take their own life) or indirectly (speaking abstractly about death or referencing suicide in media or art). Any statement about death or suicide must be taken seriously. I know it’s hard, but it’s important to talk openly about suicide and suicidal distress.

A lot of people think that talking about suicide will increase the chance of people acting on it. But talking about suicide may reduce, rather than increase, suicidal ideation. Opening this conversation helps people find an alternative view of their existing circumstances. If someone is in crisis or depressed, asking if he or she is thinking about suicide can help, so don't hesitate to start the conversation.

Being open about suicide also helps to reduce stigma, supports help-seeking, and reminds them they are not alone.

The Minds Together online program might be of help. This is a free program for family and friends supporting someone who has attempted suicide. It covers topics such as “What is suicide?”, “How to talk about suicide”, “How to cope with the difficult feelings that come up in this situation”, and “How to look after yourself”. You can find the program at mindstogether.org.au

If someone is in immediate danger, please call 000 or visit your nearest hospital emergency. If you're worried about someone's immediate safety, make sure someone stays with them until you can get help.

For more information on supporting someone with suicidal thoughts, you can contact the following services:

Lifeline Call: 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467

Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

yes over the years I have learnt not to say anything @TideisTurning , @Sally_Everymind , @amber22 , just to sit next to my husband xx

The Minds Together online program might be of help. This is a free program for family and friends supporting someone who has attempted suicide. It covers topics such as “What is suicide?”, “How to talk about suicide”, “How to cope with the difficult feelings that come up in this situation”, and “How to look after yourself”. You can find the program at mindstogether.org.au

@Sally_Everymind , i think my husband's suicide attempts were on the spur of the moment acts which are kind of hard

@Shaz51 I think you giving some very good advice in what must have been very difficult circumstances. We still don't understand what moves people from thinking about suicide to acting on it. But the impact of that decision affects not only the person in distress, but also those around them. There is no easy answer about what to do next, what to say, or how to feel. But I agree that listening can be one of the most powerful things you do. And seeking support from others who have been in a similar situation.

Onto our next question...

How might you be able to communicate with the person you support about what they are going through and what you are experiencing as their carer and loved one?

@Sally_Everymind

@amber22 , @Sally_Everymind , @TideisTurning

as a wife , sometimes I get that feeling of "will it happen again "

what can I do to help myself coping with the IF

Secrets relating to suicide and suicide attempts I don't think are uncommon @Shaz51. The loved one of mine we lost to suicide swore a lot of those close to them to secrecy... Which to me, illustrates the importance of speaking out and support to a degree. If your person has got the appropriate support in place, as hard as it may be, it's great to allow them to have the option of whom else might be invited in. Good on you for continuing to support and hold that space- it can be invaluable in those times just to know someone cares ❤️