Topic Tuesday// Minds Together: Helping Family and Friends // Tuesday 30th May 2023 5:30-7PM AEST

@Shaz51, from what yourself and Sally are saying, it sounds to me like the caring role can fluctuate a little depending on need and capacity. Does that resonate for you?

Onto our next question...

What support might carers be able to help a loved one experiencing anxiety or depression access? How?

@Sally_Everymind

What support might carers be able to help a loved one experiencing anxiety or depression access? How?

When providing support for someone experiencing anxiety or depression it is helpful to remember that everyone is different. Even if you have experienced these symptoms, the things that worked for you may not be the things that work for the person you support.

A good way to start is by asking how the person is going. You could explain that you have noticed what is different: they may seem more worried, maybe they are not sleeping, they could be a little more irritable, or maybe not wanting to go out and see friends like they used to.

It can also be helpful to ask them what they think will help rather than giving advice about what you think will help. The main thing is to provide support in a way that they want and in a way that is manageable for you – support won't work if they don't want it or if it's something that will lead to burnout for you. People with lived or living experience have told us that they really want someone to ‘sit in the space’ with them, but not try to fix things – to just be there with them and listen and try to understand what is happening for them.

Some options for support can include encouraging a GP check-up, offering to look up treatment options, making appointments, or cooking a meal. Celebrating small wins and respecting the choices of the person you are supporting are both important. Showing them that you are proud of their achievements, even the small ones, and respecting their choices will help strengthen your relationship and stay future-focused.

@Sally_Everymind , @amber22 , @TideisTurning

It does take time as I caught my husband going to take his life

Ended up in hospital in the city for a few weeks

Will not now receive any help

That's a really hard situation to find yourself in @Shaz51 - supporting someone who has attempted suicide is one of the toughest parts of being a carer. In this situation, more than others, you find yourself having to work with the health system as well as trying to support the person in your life. And that can be really hard. And often, that person doesn't want to follow up with additional support, which can mean the primary support comes from the family and friends around them. Having support for yourself in this situation is really, really important.

Onto our next question...

As a carer, why is it so important to talk about suicide and suicidal distress openly?

@Sally_Everymind

Suicidal thoughts are not uncommon but are often concerning to hear. While it can be challenging to understand, some people believe they are a burden on others and think their loved ones would be better off without them. People who feel suicidal are experiencing intense emotional pain. They want to stop this pain and see suicide as an answer.

People may talk about suicide directly (e.g., talking about a plan to take their own life) or indirectly (speaking abstractly about death or referencing suicide in media or art). Any statement about death or suicide must be taken seriously. I know it’s hard, but it’s important to talk openly about suicide and suicidal distress.

A lot of people think that talking about suicide will increase the chance of people acting on it. But talking about suicide may reduce, rather than increase, suicidal ideation. Opening this conversation helps people find an alternative view of their existing circumstances. If someone is in crisis or depressed, asking if he or she is thinking about suicide can help, so don't hesitate to start the conversation.

Being open about suicide also helps to reduce stigma, supports help-seeking, and reminds them they are not alone.

The Minds Together online program might be of help. This is a free program for family and friends supporting someone who has attempted suicide. It covers topics such as “What is suicide?”, “How to talk about suicide”, “How to cope with he difficult feelings that come up in this situation”, and “How to look after yourself”. You can find the program at www.mindstogether.org.au

If someone is in immediate danger, please call 000 or visit your nearest hospital emergency. If you're worried about someone's immediate safety, make sure someone stays with them until you can get help.

For more information on supporting someone with suicidal thoughts, you can contact the following services:

• Lifeline Call: 13 11 14 www.lifeline.org.au
• Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au as well as online resources and information.
• Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 www.beyondblue.org.au

@StuF , @creative_writer , @outlander , @Oaktree , @Former-Member , @StanD , @Bow , @The-red-centaur , @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @Former-Member

@Shaz51, I hope Sally's responses provide a few ideas, but wanted to jump in myself and echo that it is really tough to have to care for someone who's attempted suicide, especially someone as close a loved ones as your husband. As someone who's family has been impacted by suicide bereavement and who has experienced suicidal distress myself, I can also that your courage in providing that care will likely be appreciated in time, even if not right in the moment 💛

Suicidal thoughts are not uncommon but are often concerning to hear. While it can be challenging to understand, some people believe they are a burden on others and think their loved ones would be better off without them. People who feel suicidal are experiencing intense emotional pain. They want to stop this pain and see suicide as an answer.

People may talk about suicide directly (e.g., talking about a plan to take their own life) or indirectly (speaking abstractly about death or referencing suicide in media or art). Any statement about death or suicide must be taken seriously. I know it’s hard, but it’s important to talk openly about suicide and suicidal distress.

A lot of people think that talking about suicide will increase the chance of people acting on it. But talking about suicide may reduce, rather than increase, suicidal ideation. Opening this conversation helps people find an alternative view of their existing circumstances. If someone is in crisis or depressed, asking if he or she is thinking about suicide can help, so don't hesitate to start the conversation.

Being open about suicide also helps to reduce stigma, supports help-seeking, and reminds them they are not alone.

The Minds Together online program might be of help. This is a free program for family and friends supporting someone who has attempted suicide. It covers topics such as “What is suicide?”, “How to talk about suicide”, “How to cope with the difficult feelings that come up in this situation”, and “How to look after yourself”. You can find the program at mindstogether.org.au

If someone is in immediate danger, please call 000 or visit your nearest hospital emergency. If you're worried about someone's immediate safety, make sure someone stays with them until you can get help.

For more information on supporting someone with suicidal thoughts, you can contact the following services:

• Lifeline Call: 13 11 14 lifeline.org.au
• Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 suicidecallbackservice.org.au as well as online resources and information.
• Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 beyondblue.org.au