Acedia

@Kyle1, you certainly have a way with words 💖🫂. I feel like depression is too complex to be explained with simple words. It’s amazing how language can capture the complexity of human emotions

@Kyle1, I got it for one of them till next Monday. I submitted the other one on Monday. Feeling migrainey this afternoon, mood wise okay. How are you this afternoon?

Hey @Kyle1

So sorry to hear you are struggling. It does sound really challenging and as though you are finding it so difficult to see or feel any lightness at the moment.

Is this your first major depressive episode? I have been through subsequent episodes, and this has, over time, made them a little easier to deal with, because I have learned important skills along the way.

Not to diminish the intensity or power of THIS time in your life. Depression can be so incredibly debilitating. But there are evidence-based treatments for it. So, I hope you have some good support.

Your incredible poetic record of this torture is so beautiful though, so I hope you will keep a record of it. Because 'this too shall pass', and one day you will look back.

I am happy to hear your counsellor is working self-compassion into your sessions. In my experience, it can be very powerful.

One of the biggest things I learned when getting ACT therapy, was that the smallest steps can make a big difference. If you can think of the smallest possible thing that would get you the tiniest bit closer to warmth and light, what would that be?

Thinking of you too. Take care xx

Sorry, @Kyle1 - I wrote my reply before I continued to read your discussion with @Historylover and others.

I feel like these days of influencers, celebrities and billionaires make us feel like we need to achieve something really 'big' to have a worthwhile life.

One thing I noticed recently while dog sitting was that I would spend 30 minutes or an hour or more just patting and cuddling a dog. It was a seemingly purposeless activity, and had no impact on the 'world' or 'earth' at large, and yet, in those moments, I felt like it was a completely worthwhile use of time. Doing nothing other than giving love to another being.

Each to their own though!

I think that 'purpose' is all about our 'values', and I love how ACT is so interested in what is of value to you personally @Kyle1 in your life?

It can be tricky to work out what your values are, but some of them you work towards without even being aware of them. The value of connection and friendship is something that I see is important to you!

Once you do the work to determine your values though, it can be very rewarding to systematically work towards them. And the beauty of values as opposed to goals is that you will never reach your destination. Values are a 'direction' rather than an endpoint, like $100,000 in the bank or a job promotion.

I hope you can articulate things that are meaningful to you over time. It can be challenging, but nothing good comes easy, right? (I actually think that some good things come easily, but anyway, hehe, lol). xx

That is so cool @Kyle1 - good for you!

It just goes to show that our feelings are not gospel truth and our anxiety is not always accurate either!

You had a great chat and had a hug and made plans. What's better than that?

Congrats! xx