The Pole Star Moved

I hope your day has shaped up a little brighter, @Kyle1. What have you been doing?

hi @Historylover

I've been out helping a friend.

I don't feel myself at all.

That nefarious thing has become more apparent today... not so obscure anymore.

It's beginning to become a new habit of mine...precognition

How have you been?

Hey there, @Kyle1. Today hasn't been good for me either which is why I haven't written sooner. I've just been keeping busy by doing a bit of tidying, discarding things that never get used and are just clogging up my cupboards.

I'm sorry that you haven't been feeling well today, but I'm pleased that you have been doing something to fill your day.

thank you @Historylover

I was awful anxious about it. Don't know why... I'm just not feeling myself.

Feel awful darkened. Like a shadow has seeped inside my socks...

Do you suppose your decluttering may serve to carry ceremonial significance?

I'm so sorry to hear that, @Kyle1. I'm having to keep busy, distracted, or I'll go down again. Something in my life has to change and if this is all I can change, it will have to do for the time being.

What is tomorrow going to bring for you? I have to go shopping so that will keep me busy for a while.

I have a counselling appointment 2morow... @Historylover

Means another drive to the city and that really fatigues me...

Do you ever have those seasons where you feel like you could crawl down a wombat hole and lay there for a few months?? ...

I'm pleased to hear that tomorrow will keep you busy, @Kyle1, even if it is exhausting for you. Is the city Hobart?

I was going to ask you if you have support of any kind. I hope your session is helpful.

I'm in a wombat hole every day. @Kyle1. I've just managed to keep myself busy down here. I don't allow myself to wallow in bed...as yet. Too much time to think if I do that. I don't even allow sleep-ins!

Are you trying to find a new path forward? Or is that a stupid question? Sometimes just taking each day as it comes is best for a while anyway.

yes, the city is Hobart. It's OK for a city. But I'm too easily overwhelmed these days, and so so tired...

complaining won't help, I know that much...

As for a path forward, I'm not trying for one. I'm a little more 'the Tao of pooh' about such things...and I was feeling like one was becoming clear...or hinting at becoming clear...

the last couple days I've been flooding myself with criticism and negative self talk. I recognise it. But can't shake it off...

I wouldn't have had a hope of physically attending classes when I was doing my recent course, @Kyle1, so I understand exhaustion. Even dealing with teachers online was a trauma.

I find physically-present people too needlessly emotionally exhausting on top of my ever-present physical exhaustion which only allows me to take one day at a time.

I'm afraid I'm not up on the Pooh!

You clearly have read a lot of books (not just Pooh!), @Kyle1. You have an interesting mind. Do you have particular ways to occupy it?

occupy my mind?

Apparently not enough... or is it too much ?

I suppose, if I were honest, I dream alot. Day dream a lot. @Historylover maybe too much.! my comfort zone...