How to keep us safe?

@JJ1

I just need to be brutally honest with you. With those diagnoses I would say absolutely not. Get it out of your head as an option. You are both young and grouping people with eating disorders together outside of clinical situations is VERY dangerous. Throw in that BPD and CPTSD and you have a living nightmare. It will not work. I’m sorry, I would not entertain it at all. You are both very young and you both would have a very long recovery road for this kind of arrangement to be viable if possible at all.

I know you have made it sound nice and all planned out in your head but it just not the reality of how things go.

I really wish you the best and hope you find a place soon!

@JJ1

I think there is greatt danger in moving in with someone with similar MH Illness as you. I live with family, all with MH illness though different and that is almost impossible to make it work. We have lock boxes, mainly to protect my sister. My sister and I have supports Mum and Dad dont and are in denial.

If you are worried about razors there is no way one can protect the other and the other protect one, its just a vicious cycle. Lock boxes is about ur best answer medication wise, leaves you responsible for your own meds but vunerable as no one to keep you accountable and its the same else where.

If your going to move out you need to have someone who is going to keep you accountable and responsible. Someone you will listen too in the bad times. Another person with the same illnesses is likely just going to feed off you and you off them and make the situatiion worse.

Remember this is your life your talking about, along with her childs

Hi @JJ1 firstly welcome to the forums!

really wanted to reply to your post cause we have so many similarities.

Im 40 f and my folks live with me and my 7 yr old daughter. My team often encourages me to look at moving out for many reasons. Financially it feels impossible in this current economic state. I also have an eating disorder, complex PTSD, BPD and major depressive disorder.

Im sorry you probably haven’t received the responses that you were hoping for. When reading your post, I thought what a lovely idea. Your team supports you, you have thoughts about all sorts of things and you and your bf have a great relationship. But after reading the other responses it made me think a little more and I’d probably agree with some of the concerns- mostly because you yourself have raised concern about 2 significant things that could put either of you at risk.

When you say your team, who exactly is on your team? And you said they agree with you moving out, do they know that it would be with your bf that has similar mental health issues? What ongoing support will you both receive?

Do either of you work? Study? It’s a big thing to go from living separately to living with someone and I know that you said you spend most of your free time together.

Medication can be webster packed weekly. That is a way around that kind of. But if you raise concerns yourself, we all know that if someone is desperate they will find a way to get hold of things.

Razors are probably a really difficult one. There really isn’t much of a way around that I don’t think. Again if someone is desperate…..

Where are you both at in your recovery??? That would be my big question. Do you still struggle with your ED? I know it can be so very easy to be triggered with an ED and it’s such a slippery slope! And if one relapses it would be very difficult for the other. And the fact that you are both concerned around the risk with meds and sharps, it probably shows that neither of you are really in a safe place? Please correct me if I am wrong.

In saying all of this, there are group homes for people with mental health issues with ongoing regular supports. I don’t know what criteria you would need to meet for that and whether either of you have NDIS support?

Anyways, some things to think about.

How are you? Do you want to talk