'To' 'For' 'With' !!!

This one deserves a new thread and I was wondering what other people's experiences are.

I know things have changed for the better with my support team but I woke up this morning having worked out what exactly has changed practically.

For the last year, people have been doing things TO me and sometimes FOR me but so rarely WITH me. Whatever their intentions towards me or in general doing things TO me is what has caused the most damage and the most sense of disempowerment. Whether it is leading conversations, invading privacy, or not giving me choice and agency in what I am exposed to and when. The most fear anger and frustration the most destruction of self has been from people doing things TO me. It is why I broke off my friendship with another person with mental health concerns because whatever her intention she was doing things TO me without giving me a choice or agency. Doing things TO someone without their consent and participation is always destructive to their sense of self.

At the moment I need help with cleaning and I need my cleaner to do some things FOR me but I don't like it. Doing things FOR someone is sometimes necessary but especially for mental health support workers, it can often create dependency which I hate. Doing things FOR someone also includes making choices about what we do or how we do things FOR us. I try to avoid FOR.

But this last week things have shifted. In general and specifically, people have been listening to me and what I need and at the moment I still need people to do things WITH but I'm working on it. Like getting out and about or sitting WITH me while I study for emotional support. Hopefully, these will ease off in the near future but WITH is so powerful. WITH enables choice and empowerment. WITH enables support without intrusion and WITH enables trust and working together. WITH in the past has gotten me to a stage where I don't even need WITH and can be truly independent and will do it again. But thank God for WITH.

What are others' thoughts?