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Letty03Casual Contributor
I'm trying to be a better person for me and for my family and friends because right now how i behave is appalling. I say and do things but when someone says and does the exact same thing to me, i get mad at them.. I'm way too emotional and i just wanna be a better person. My relationship with my boyfriend is on thin ice because of how i behave and act and talk.
In response to: ME
JasmiranContributor
I did couples therapy.
My partner and I were both diagnosed with BPAD and have our own basket of fun thrown in the mix.
We are better than ever and we got to see where we wanted to be and what things looked like from the other side.
It sounds hard to get into but its not really. Hope you give it a go if you are wanting the relationship to thrive.
In response to: ME
DelicatessenSenior Contributor
Hi @Letty03 @good for you for toning down the behaviour. Does your new behaviour extend to being loving to those important to you? Are you doing things to actively reduce the possibility of returning to form that is less than idea (such as counselling and support)? Do your significant others know what you are doing and why? If it’s no to any of these questions, is there a possibility that those close to you might be walking on eggshells and waiting for the inevitable?
In response to: ME
FloatingFeatherSenior Contributor
Hi @Letty03,
Welcome to the Forums, my name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. I just read your post and wanted to acknowledge the bravery in your post. A lot of people act in ways that may be not considered as appropriate, good, kind etc but very few would be brave enough to admit it. I would imagine admitting (acknowledging) this would also be an important step around changing behaviours. Changing behaviours that may have been learned years before can take real effort. I think for a lot of us we have an autopilot around behaviour and don't even think about our response.
For instance, I was raised to be a people pleaser so my auto-response is just to do what others want me to do even if I don't want to. Over the years I realised this wasn't a good plan as I was not being true to myself plus I was also building up resentment towards others who I was trying to please. It is still a work in progress and it takes considerable effort to go against my natural instincts but over the years I have started to say no (not to people please). It is still strange / uncomfortable to do this but the more I do it the more it is starting to feel okay and become more natural.
I guess what I am saying is that any behaviour we recognise in ourselves that we want to change takes acknowledgement, reflection, commitment and energy. I do think a lot of behaviours can be unlearned and relearned but it takes time - it's not only the wish to change but also the effort to change that is important.
I wish you all the best,
FloatingFeather
PS. a couple of tips to help you around the Forums: Tip 1 - if you want to directly chat with someone on the Forums use the @ symbol and then start typing their name directly after it. A dropdown box should appear, and you then select their name. This ensures that they are notified of any posts you mention them in.
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In response to: Re: ME
Letty03Casual Contributor
My behaviour is really slowly changing, it's a work in progress. whenever i feel like snapping at someone, i try and remember to take a deep breathe and walk away instead of saying something back. My boyfriend knows im wanting to change myself for the better. I don't anyone to be thinking that they have to walk on eggshells around me in fear of me snapping and getting really angry.
@Delicatessen
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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