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Something’s not right

Im scared

Im scared

I have spent the last 20 years of my life fighting to stay alive. I feel well for a couple of months, then I crash into a deep depression. I normally end up in hospital for a while, before having another period of being OK. I will then repeat the cycle, over and over again. I have had enough, I can't go on like this any longer. I now homeschool my daughter and I can't let her down. Her whole life I have failed her and my son. They have had to watch me go through the cycle of ups and downs. It has been so hard for them. Now my daughter needs me to be there for her and I believed I could. I thought that if I was determined and focused on staying well, that I could do it. The problem is that I can feel myself going down very rapidly and I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I can't seem to be able to get hold of it. I am feeling so alone, like I am the only person in the world. I know that sounds so selfish but I just feel so empty. What can I do? I'm so scared

66 replies

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In response to: Im scared

Re: Im scared

Hello @Angel80

are you ok my friend xx, i am sorry that you are feeling scared and confused

what happen today xx

In response to: Im scared

Re: Im scared

I contacted the hospital and they might be able to find a bed for me for Monday....maybe. right now I feel like crap. Don't know if I can handle it. It's worse than ever

In response to: Re: Im scared

Re: Im scared

Hi @Angel80

Distraction is a very good idea ....

Music

Adult colouring books

Jigsaw puzzle

Movie

Digging in the garden, planting something, even if it's a cutting from something else

Call a friend

Call a help-line

Cook something

Clean something

Get your hands and mind busy with something to do ....

Hope this helps .... ❤️💕

In response to: Re: Im scared

Re: Im scared

Hello @Angel80

what do you enjoy doing ??

like @Faith-and-Hope said to do something is a great way to help

In response to: Re: Im scared

Re: Im scared

Hi @Angel80

I'm really glad you got to a hospital last night. It is horrible that you might have to wait longer for a private bed. Going to a public hospital thought is a great idea.

Is that something you're considering doing tonight?

Nik

In response to: Im scared

Re: Im scared

I found out that I will have to wait a while for a bed. I freaked out and was not successful at keeping myself safe last night. Spent the night in hospital , then sent home. Late spoke to my. Psychiatrist who said to go in the public system a until a bed is available for me. So I am in a&e waiting to see what my immediate future is going to be. And yes I'm terrified

In response to: Im scared

Re: Im scared

@Angel80. So glad you are in A & E. It's a safe place to be. Hopefully they can admit you later and you can start resting up there, until a bed becomes available in your private hospital.
You will be in good hands. So I think the future is going to be a lot better than how you are feeling now.
When I had SI earlier this year, I went to hospital. I felt safe being there. And then I rested (slept alit for the first few days) until I was able to join some therapy groups.
I think you are brace and have done tge right thing by going to the local hospital - until you can get a bed in your preferred clinic. You will be safe there.
This too will pass. And in the meantime, we are walking beside you. You have our support and love.

In response to: Im scared

Re: Im scared

I've been sitting here for hours. I should probably just go. Waiting is sending me even more agitated. I want to go home

In response to: Re: Im scared

Re: Im scared

Better to stay where you're safe @Angel80 .... I know you are feeling agitated, but that is why you're there, and you're not going to be any less agitated at home, feeling the way you do. Work with the hospital and the medical staff to help you get better.

🌷💜

In response to: Im scared

Re: Im scared

@Angel80. Just wanted to check how last night went. Did you stay at the hospital? Did the staff agree to admit you?
I hope you are okay.
Am thinking of you.
41 - 50 of 66