Social connection with people who understand and care

Hi, I’m new. I’m feeling sad and anxious without people I can talk to. I have ptsd drs said bipolar however I dont have mood swings.. and with everything I’ve gone through I need some support. The little family and friends I have don’t understand or know what to say. I never had emotional support growing up, was abused by outside family members; neglected by family (my mother had bad bipolar) 10 schools; attracted spouse with no emotional intelligence. DVO, took our kids. Abused by a chiropractor.. all sorts. I’ve had some hard things going on lately; and I find it hard to cope and manage. In the morning I have a feeling of not feeling safe. I want a partner but I can’t start off saying all this kind off stuff as they’d run. I just feel alone and isolated. I just want to be hugged and supported. My psychologist said it’s like my stress bucket tolerance level starts a lot higher than most due to not feeling safe most of my life. I have back pain on top of this.

I feel a lot of people just want and expect you to put on a happy face. Well I feel sad and lonely atm.

Thanks for reading and in advance if support.