Married to bipolar.

@Gforce

Ive thought about this for several hours. I do understand what your saying but its kinda offensive. I have bipolar 2 w/ psychotic features. I suffer from bipolar but am not bipolar. It is not my one and only defining feature.

You are married to someone who suffers from an illness not the illness itself.

Additionally you might find more people sharing your situatiion in the carers area rather than lived experience

I dont want to come across as scolding you, that is not my intention just if I was described simply as my illness like you have done I would be seriously hurt

Hey @Gforce, hope you are ok today. I also suffer from bipolar and I agree with malen that we need to look at it as an illness not who we are, but that takes time and if that's how you view your relationship with bipolar currently, the way you feel is the way you feel.

Happy to chat with you here if that's what you want to do. What are you currently struggling with the most?

LeChuck

oh, @Gforce I thought you were describing your own relationship with bipolar, not a spouse/partner. You are new to the forums so it's not your fault at all that you've ended up on the wrong place but definitely use the carer support forums not the lived experience forums, as you will receive much better and more knowledgeable support. Your struggles and feelings about your partner will probably trigger people in the lived experience forum and may be very damaging to people's self worth. As with @ClockFace, not trying to tell you off, just letting you know that this is not the place for carers and family, there's a dedicated area for those struggling with supporting others.

Really hoping you get the support you need, sending good vibes your way.Your struggles are real and valid and I really want to convey warmth and the fact that I empathise with your situation and I'm sorry that is not coming through in my writing properly.

LeChuck x

@Gforce I have schizoaffective disorder (both schizophrenia & bipolar) and I have a lot of compassion for your situation as its hard functioning as a partner or family unit around someones mental diagnosis. It has a huge impact on other people around the person suffering with mental illness. BTW, there is a carers forum where you can go to be around folk of like mind who can offer understanding and advice. I would encourage you to get as much support as is possible. I'm sorry this has come between you and your relationship and your hopes for your future. This can be said for any kind of diagnosis really but the burden can be huge. I don't think a relationship or the family unit is equipped to cope with major life events such as this. We really need extended communities to shoulder the responsibilities of caring for an ill person. I hope you get the understanding and support you need here on SANE and hope that you are able to come to terms with this consequential situation you now find yourself in.

Hello @Gforce and welocme to the forum my friend

how are you going today

I am a wife which my husband has been diagnosed with a few different Mental illness including Bipolar 2

if you have any questions please ask

amm @moderator , @amber22 , @FloatingFeather , @tyme , @hanami

wondering if we can redirest this thread to the carers side of the forum please

Hello @Gforce 🙂

WHERE DO WE START?

It is important to maintain a sense of hope, and to develop practical skills. This can mean:

Coming to terms with the fact that someone you care for experiences mental health issues and that this is likely to have a serious emotional impact on you as well as them. There may be anger at this happening in your family, confusion or a sense of loss and grief at how the person has been changed by their mental ill-health. It’s important to acknowledge and talk about these feelings.

Developing a sense of balance between different types of support approaches. It can take time to figure out what this looks like, but it might involve:

• acknowledging the effects of mental health issues on the person and hopes for recovery
• wanting to do things to help the person while them to be independent
• showing you care while not being over-involved
• giving the person your time while having time for yourself and other family members too
• encouraging the person to do things while not being unrealistic and demanding.

Preparing yourself by learning as much as you can about the relevant mental health issue, and considering what you can reasonably do to support the person. Discuss this with other family members and the treating health professionals. If there is a type of care you cannot provide, then discuss with the health professional what arrangements can be made to provide it in some other way.

@Gforce ,

WHAT SKILLS DO WE NEED?

Living with mental health issues isn't easy. Caring for someone affected often isn't easy either, and sometimes first instincts are not helpful. Here are some information and tips that others have found useful:

• Talk things over with the person affected and other family members. Talk about how you feel and encourage others to do the same. Try to ensure everyone has the same understanding and position.
• Find out about any training for family carers of people with mental health issues you can attend, and consider joining a support group to meet others in your position.
• Encourage the person living with mental health issues to be involved as much as possible in looking after themselves, and to get out socially and do things in their local community as much as is practical.
• Consider the person as a whole – remember that they have the same range of personal, emotional and social needs as anyone else. Is their physical health being looked after by a GP? Are alcohol or drugs a problem which needs attention?
• If there are suicidal thoughts, self-harm or aggression towards others, take these seriously and discuss with a health professional. Prepare a plan together for what to do if someone becomes unwell again. Always have crisis numbers handy.
• Plan ahead for when you are unable to provide care. Talk about this with the person and health professionals, and consider what legal and financial steps may be needed to ensure care continues.

@Gforce , not sure of your situation is , but letting you know that you are not alone

HOW CAN WE LOOK AFTER OURSELVES?

When caring for someone else, it’s important to remember to look after yourself and other family members too.

• Allow for regular ‘time out’. Make sure to make time to regularly do things you enjoy and to socialise. Ask about respite care to give everyone a break.
• Talk about how you feel. Don’t ‘bottle up’ feelings if you are sometimes frustrated or need support. Let the treating health professionals and others know how you feel, and ask for support if you need it.
• Be sensible about what you reasonably can – and cannot – do. Try to prioritise and organise what you need to do, by making a weekly list for example. Ensure that this is realistic and fair, and that it includes time for yourself and others as well as the person you are caring for.
• Don’t try to do too much. Pace yourself and look out for signs that you are becoming stressed. Have a plan for what to do if this happens.
• @Gforce