BPD help

Hi @Sunder,

My heart goes out to you and your daughter. A close family member of mine was diagnosed with a serious mental health issue (not BPD) many years and in the initial stages we felt very lost too. I can understand how overwhelming it may feel now but please know things can definitely get better with professional support and support from the wider community.

I will add a couple of links here around BPD that maybe of some use to you:

- BPD discussion

- BPD factsheet

I would also encourage you to reach out for your own support as being as carer can be a lonely and confusing place. These two organisations maybe a good place to start:

- Carer Gateway

- Carers Australia

I'm not sure what age your daughter is but if she is an older teen / young adult there is an organisation that she can connect with around this (and just for support in general). It is called Reachout Austraila. It also has a parents section so it might be something you maybe interested in too:

- Reachout

I hope this helps a little and I wish you and your daughter all the best.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

Hi @Sunder

I just wanted to reach out to offer you some support 💜

I’m so deeply sorry to hear that you and your daughter are having such a difficult time of things and I can’t even begin to imagine how hard everything is for you right now 💜

Just from what you’ve shared, it sounds as though you’re doing everything within your power to understand the mental health condition that your daughter is living with and I really love how you’re trying to connect her with the most appropriate care and support 💜

In my experience, the opportunity to receive support and guidance from people who are experiencing similar challenges to our own can provide a level of comfort and reassurance that’s difficult to find elsewhere 💜

With this in mind, I’ve just tagged a couple of members of our community @BPDSurvivor @outlander @Determined @tyme @Jessicaa11 @David402 who may be able to drop by and offer you some support 💜

Because support often means different things to different people, I just ever so gently wondered what sort of support and / or advice would be helpful for you?

I think that it’s great that you’re reading and learning as much as possible and as such, I just wondered if you’re familiar with an organisation called the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder 😊

In addition to providing a wealth of information about BPD (including webinars 😊) they also provide a program called Family Connections which is available across Australia 💜

Basically, Family Connections is a free, 12 week course that meets weekly for two hours to provide education, skills training, and support for people who are in a relationship with someone who has BPD. Focusing on issues that are specific to BPD, it is hosted in a community setting and led by trained group leaders who are either clinicians or family members of relatives with BPD 💜

As such, I’ve just shared the link to this particular program below, just in case you would like to explore this further 😊

https://www.bpdaustralia.org/about-family-connections/

As I listened to some of the things that you’ve shared with us, I wondered if the opportunity to participate in a support group where you can connect with other people who are caring for a loved one who is living with BPD may be something that’s also helpful for you 💜

As such, I’ve just shared some information about a couple of support groups below - just in case you would like to take a look 😊

The first support group that I wanted to share with you is run by an organisation based in Brisbane called Arafmi 😊

Basically, Arafmi provide quality support and education services to people with mental health support needs, their families and carers 💜

As such, they provide an online support group that’s been created especially for people who are caring for a loved one who is living with BPD 💜

Unfortunately, I couldn’t work out if someone needs to be receiving support through Arafmi and / or residing in Brisbane to be eligible to attend and so I’ve just shared the link to this particular section of their website, just in case you would like to reach out to them to clarify this 😊

https://arafmi.com.au/events/boarder-line-personality-disorder-support-group-online/2023-04-20/

The other support group that I thought may be of interest to you is run by an organisation based in Victoria called The Mental Health Foundation Australia 😊

As such, they provide a free support group where adults, family or friends can learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder, develop social networks and give and receive support 💜

When I first came across this particular support group, people were able to attend in person and online via Zoom. However, when I visited their website today, it would appear that you can only attend in person.

However, because people are able to attend some of their other support groups in person and / or via Zoom (and this is something that they offered in the past) I wondered if it may be worthwhile touching base with the group facilitator - just to see if there’s any way that you may be able to participate via Zoom too 😊

I’ve just shared the link to this particular support group below, just in case you would like to explore this further 😊

https://supportgroup.mhfa.org.au/borderline-personality-disorder

Also, just while I remember, one of the things that really helped me when I was new to the forums and still finding my way around, was that if you would like to chat with another forum member, or reply to one of their posts, place @ in front of their username just like I did at the start of my post to you i.e. @Sunder that way, they will receive a message that you have contacted them 😊

I really hope that this helps you a little bit and please know that you’re always welcome to reach out to us here whenever you need to 💜

Take kind and gentle care of yourself,

ShiningStar 💜

@FloatingFeather thanks so much for reaching out and for the links.

My daughter is an adult with two young children.

Wondering too if there is any support network for young children under school age for what they are going through with their mum?

Thanks again.

Unfortunately I don't know of any support groups for young children @Sunder. Perhaps you could speak to your GP about this - maybe they would have some ideas? There is a wonderful organisation for children called Kids Helpline Kids Helpline but this is for children 5 years and over.

I wish you all the best. Your daughter is lucky to having such a supportive and caring mum like you 🙂.

Warm Wishes,

FloatingFeather

Hi @ShiningStar I can't thank you enough for your suggestions. Ive reached out and touched base with each link and am now registered with all of them!

So looking forward to learning more and being able to connect with others who can help me understand our situation.

It truly is heart wrenching as a mother to go through this and I can't begin to imagine how hard it is for my daughter and grandchildren who are living it everyday.

This BPD is one heck of a rollercoaster !

Thanks again for helping me find help.

Hi @FloatingFeather thanks for reaching out. It worries me that so many people say kids are resilient and bounce back, but what they are going through seeing their mum suffer during the most important years of their life while they form and learn so much in a short time is horrifying knowing that it could be the cause of them both suffering their mums fate and repeating the cycle of trauma related mental illness.

My heart literally aches for them. I am at a loss.

Hi @Sunder

It’s so lovely to hear from you 💜

It was my pleasure to share these resources with you and I’m absolutely thrilled to hear that you’ve been able to book yourself into each group - that’s amazing 💜

Absolutely! The opportunity to connect with other people who walk similar paths to our own can be invaluable, as so often they can share the sort of knowledge and expertise that can be difficult to find elsewhere. As such, I really hope that you’ll be able to find the care and support that need at this time in your life 💜

Although I’m not a parent myself, over the years I’ve watched some of my loved ones wrestle with various mental health conditions. To see them in such pain and turmoil is absolutely excruciating and if I could, I would take away their distress in a heartbeat 💜

As such, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain and heartbreak that comes with watching your daughter and grandchildren live through this ‘rollercoaster ride’ and my heart goes out to you all 💜

In my experience, it can be so easy to unintentionally lose sight of how living with various mental health conditions feels for our loved ones and their little ones 💜 As I listened to what you shared around this, I could hear so much love, care and concern for your daughter and grandchildren and I just wanted to say that you sound like such a beautiful and compassionate soul 💜

I also just ever so gently wondered if (in addition to the support that you provide) your grandchildren receive any other support?

I would love to hear how you’re travelling with everything - but only if this is something that feels comfortable for you to share - there’s absolutely no pressure or expectations 😊

In the meantime, please remember that we’re here if you need us and you’re always more than welcome to reach back to me if there’s anything else that I can do to support you 💜

Take kind and gentle care of yourself,

ShiningStar 💜