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Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

NikNikSenior Contributor31 Oct 2016, 12:18 pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

From 13th - 19th November 2016 is Perinatal Depression and Anxiety Awareness Week.

For this Topic Tuesday we will be joined by PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia)

Becoming a parent is a major life transition: 24/7 responsibilities for another life, sleep deprivation and new stressors on relationships. For those with a history of mental illness it is a particularly vulnerable time. Anxiety or depression previously well-managed can become out of control, and shame about ‘failing as a parent' or not enjoying motherhood can prevent help-seeking.

What many people don’t know is that perinatal anxiety and depression is common, does not discriminate and has many faces. It is thought that 1 in 10 mums and 1 in 20 dads experience depression during pregnancy and 1 in 7 mums and 1 in 10 dads after the birth of their baby. Anxiety rates are thought to be higher with many parents experiencing both anxiety and depression. So many parents we speak with wear a mask of coping, underplay symptoms on routine screening, and even hide their struggles and fears from their partner and GP.

What we know is that the earlier treatment is obtained the quicker recovery and that recovery is not just possible it happens everyday! It is so important not to suffer alone.

Join us for Topic Tuesday where we will be talking about how to take care of your emotional and mental health during pregnancy and after birth, what to look out for, when and where to get help, and what that help might look like.

We look forward to speaking with you from 7 pm AEDT.

Two things you can do now

1) Read the blog '5 tips for good perinatal mental health'

2) Hit the 'Like' button below to receive an email reminder on the night

3) Can't make the session? Leave your question below.

57 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember15 Nov 2016, 7:08 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

Hi @Shaz51!

Welcome and thanks for joining us 🙂

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

NewmamaNew Contributor15 Nov 2016, 7:09 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

Similar to smurpette, I'm finding my relationship with my partner one of the hardest things to manage. I have a 6 month old who has only ever slept in my arms (or someone else's, but usually mine) or beside me in bed, until the last few weeks when I can feed her to sleep at night and get back out for bed for a little while. My partner says she felt so left out in the early days and now we have time together she can't just 'flick the switch' to enjoy each other and connect. It does seem to be VERY slowly improving but I'm struggling with it, and feeling quite down. It's so hard to separate what feelings are reactive re:relationship woes, and what might actually be anxiety. I'm planning on seeing a GP and getting a mental health plan in order to get some counselling, any other tips?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

PANDASenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 7:12 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

Hi @2angels

Thanks for joining us tonight, it is great to hear from you.

It really depends what State in Australia you live in.If you live in VIC there are several public options (WA there are 2, SA there is 1) in the other states it is tricker if you don't have private health insurance with psychiatric cover. As you say though, all located in majoy cities.

When we can't access MBU beds we work with local services from Psychiatric triage to emergency departments and GPs to advocate for families to be provided with mental health assessment and care taking into account pregnancy or a new baby.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

PocoyoCasual Contributor15 Nov 2016, 7:12 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

They are not back to normal because our living situation became a bit more complicated and still is. We are able to function on a friendly level, not as many arguments and such. But I have basically blocked out my expectation for affection , intimacy. I know when he is in his moods and To stay away, but at times, I can't control my emotions and I press the issue or force him to talk, which almost always lands up in a heated argument. So not great at the moment. We are working at the moment because of the coping mechanisms I have put in place to prevent putting him in a 'bad mood'

It weighs on me at times but I feel that I need to stay strong for my daughter. Sorry for the essay, hope it makes sense. @PANDA

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

2angelsSenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 7:15 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

I was in a public psychiatric unit for 4 weeks because I was too sick to go to the private mum's and bubs unit. I saw my baby everyday in a room that we couldn't leave, with my ex. I wasn't given the option of continuing breast-feeding although there were platitudes and then I was told stopping breast feeding was my choice - I was totally psychotic - how could I make a choice?!

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember15 Nov 2016, 7:17 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

Hi @Newmama, congratulations on your little one, and thanks so much for sharing.

It sounds like it has been quite hard for you to hear that your partner has been feeling left out, and that she can't enjoy the time you have together when you do... You must be really wanting to connect with your partner at this time.

It takes time for each person to adjust to parenthood, and the reactions of each parent can differ so much. Have you been able to have a conversation with your partner about how she is feeling and what you need at this time?

I think seeing your GP and linking in with some perinatal focused therapy via a mental health care plan sounds like a wonderful first step. If you are wondering whether you are experiencing some perinatal anxiety, the GP is a really great place to start. It can be helpful to make a list of your symptoms and how long they have been happening for before you go, and get the most out of your appointment.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

PANDASenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 7:20 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

It certainly does make sense @Pocoyo. I can hear and feel how lonely and exhausting it is to not have any expectations, make every effort not to 'put him in a bad mood' and take on the full weight of wanting to 'stay strong for your daughter'.

Relationship challenges are a common (yet very painful) outcome of persistent perinatal anxiety and depression. No one is a winner really when this happens.

I wonder if you ever feel unsafe in your relationship @Pocoyo?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember15 Nov 2016, 7:23 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

It sounds like you have been through so much, @2angels.

I can only imagine the impact these experiences had on the beginning of your parenthood journey.

Have you been able to talk to someone about this since?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

PocoyoCasual Contributor15 Nov 2016, 7:24 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

@PANDA It is very exhausting and only just a chapter of the many other 'issues' going on in my life at the moment. I am coping but feel the need to talk to someone.

No, I never feel unsafe in my relationship just insecure and unappreciated/unloved

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

NewmamaNew Contributor15 Nov 2016, 7:24 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Emotional wellbeing for parents // 15 Nov. 7pm AEDT

Thank you @Former-Member it is helpful even just to have someone acknowledge the challenges I am experiencing. My partner and I have talked (and cried) about how we feel but it has also been hard due to other stressors on her at the moment. I was very pleased when she told me last night that she bought the book 'Becoming Us' and has started reading it. It had been recommended to me also but I hadn't gotten around to buying it or mentioning it to her. I was heartened that she took that initiative and I hope it helps us. Thanks again for your response, it's very validating.

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