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Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

StarseedSageNew Contributor

Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

Im feeling so sad and lonely right now.

I have so much emotional pain bottled up ninside that im in agony. I cant cry, I can feel it all welling up I side me and the pressure builds like a storm but I cannot seem to relaseNy of it.

I've realized I don't feel safe enough to cry.because im scared of being alone with all that emotion,, trauma., and mental torture.. im scared I won't survive it. I've never had anyone to protect me

Iwish I had someone i loved and trusted in my life who could hold me really really tight. Its so calming to be held and to be loved.

I am really isolated in my world and have suffered extensive trauma, neglect, and abuse.

Im feeling so lonely and like im falling with nobody to catch me.

Im craving love, warmth, cconnection, intimacy, xompanionsjip and, safety but don't have any.

Has anyone else felt similar?

What do other people do to ease their lonliness?

I really wish someone loved me and I had someone to love..

8 replies

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In response to: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

NatureLoverSenior Contributor

Re: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

Welcome, @StarseedSage

I'm sorry to hear about your overwhelming sadness and loneliness, as well as your abuse and trauma 😞

Do you have any professional support? Like a counsellor, meds, psychologist or psychiatrist, to work through your trauma?

I know you're craving a romantic relationship, but I found that volunteering helped my loneliness - connecting with others and making new friends.

The forums here help too, with making connections.

An important forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

I hope you find the forums supportive...

In response to: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

justanotherguySenior Contributor

Re: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

Hi @StarseedSage , I know it sounds a bit hokey but going for a walk can make me feel better, it allows my thoughts some time to process. Also just some gardening is very calming, even having a few pot plants to look after helps.

In response to: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

hanamiSenior Contributor

Re: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

Hi @StarseedSage

Welcome to the forums! I'm glad you found us and were so brave in sharing your story of sadness and pain. I can certainly sense the despair in your words. There must be nothing worse than feeling like no one is there to catch you if/when you fall.

I remember when my first child was born and feeling alone because I was quite young when I had her. All the other mums at places I'd go would be much older than me and I felt I couldn't relate well to them at all. It's such a horrible feeling of emptiness and it's easy to lose hope that things will improve.

I'm wondering what your ideal life would look like if you had a magic wand. I imagine there would be people who love you but what sort of things would you be doing? Working? Studying? Being a member of community groups? Or just being able to exist in the world without feelings of pain, loneliness and sadness?

Keep reaching out to us as I know there are others who will really relate to what you're saying.

Warm wishes

Hanami

In response to: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

Unknown userMember

Re: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

Hello @StarseedSage have you thought of music therapy for making yourself cry? I used to follow Ted Andrews a music therapist from the USA and he wrote books on music therapy.

Clair de Lune a classical composition used to bring tears to my eyes when I could not bring myself to cry. Its good to cry to release the trapped emotion. Sometimes people get in so much emotional pain they can't bring themselves to cry. I've been there. Music has a way of moving the emotions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkgyOZxIw0k

Another more modern piece was by by Emmylou Harris called Bang the Drum Slowly and it made me cry the first time I heard it. I played it to my ex-brother-in-law and he was moved to tears himself. I would suggest adjusting your sound, playing it loud or wearing headphones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSelWIBAPzY

I hope you feel the release and are able to come back to yourself again. It will open the blockage and make you feel a bit better ❤️

In response to: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

FlotsamSenior Contributor

Re: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

@StarseedSage

What you wrote could have been me in the past. They say if you are dealing with addiction you are dealing with trauma. Trauma, neglect etc seriously messes with us. It is a fundamental human need to look for connection. I am sorry that you feel alone. I am just starting to realise how much my life has been affected. I am following Drdoylesays on Insta and it is like he is speaking to my heart. Self compassion is really important.

Can you reach out to your local community mental health?

In response to: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

StarseedSageNew Contributor

Re: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

Oh my goodness, you are all so beautiful, I am so greatful for your compassion and understanding, furthermore the warmth in your hearts and personalities have really shone through, forever greatful, bless 🙏

@Flotsam @Former-Member @hanami @justanotherguy @NatureLover

In response to: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

EternalFlowerSenior Contributor

Re: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

Beautifully put and deep @StarseedSage

I think this is the essence of distress , the feeling of being alone and unloveable

I ak very sensitive to when im around rough, unemotional people, i think ur emotions and needs are valid and a superpower. X 💐

In response to: Re: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

Unknown userMember

Re: Overwhelmed, Sandess,, Grief and Loss, Drug relapse,

Hello @StarseedSage you are so welcome. I hope you feel better soon my dear. Life can and does get better. Just ask the universe for your needs to be met and they will be. All you have to do is just ask! Creator loves you ❤️

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