Motion - new pathways - air -sea -land -us

Well said @EternalFlower , the system is not doing great.

@StanD. hey there stan. Its always chaos on the farm tis time of day so I'm chopping my reply in 2. You asked about my pain. So I figured if I start with that then it will put all my future letters against some relevance. Now to be clear I dumped this pain long ago, but it is still a hump on my hump, and I tell you to nurture the memory of those we loose along the way.

THE 2ND WORSE CHRISTMAS i EVER HAD. A half a century ago I was just a kid living rough in the hills east of the big smoke. Labouring on farms, what ever , when ever. the days before spud harvesters and half ton crates. We picked into 150 lbs bags, 12 to 14 hours a day. Me and jay, my little mate. He was older and smarter. I was much bigger but not smart like him. 13 and 16 years old I think

It was near Christmas, we hadn't been payed in a fortnight and things were grim. It was a dry season. Approaching a hard farmer was likely to be met with a foot or a fist.

A huge Melbourne storm was in the mail. Hail freezing rain. the whole shabang.

Jay was in a bad way and a dark feeling came over me when he started shaking uncontrollably. He was not a strong boy. I got him to the packing shed and with rain doubling by the hour and the farm house a further 6 miles, Its as far as we were going that night. Burdened with a childs mind I did the best I could. I broke up the old pallets and what ever else would burn and with freezing hands coaxed the pile into a fire. I wrapped jay in spud bags, my flano, and he seemed to settle a little but still felt like ice against me.

Then I got the bright idea of baking some spuds in the fire. The truck had gone but there was crates of seed potatoes left over from the seasons plantings.

No time to wash, just get em in. Storm now like the hand of god.

Now I didnt know at that time that seed potatoes where treated with a strong fungicide, and rat repellent, not to mention green skins. how could I know, I was just a kid.

Crunchy outside, but warm enough within to wait no longer. fit food for starving boys. It was not long before I was violently Ill... I at least had the strength to rid the poisoned meal from my heaving body. Best I could do for jay was put him on his side and watch white foam seep slowly from the corner of his mouth.

Lay half on him, and some how sleep or comma showed us some mercy.

I woke that morning to a icy blue hand gripping my wrist.

One eye fixed wide open and the rest of his face immersed in a pool of blood. I didnt know till then a small body like that could hold that much blood.

Jay dreamed his last dream, and fought the fight of his life that night. while I just slept next to him.

I ran till my lungs burnt out, and tried to live with it on the streets in the big city.

I tell myself an absence of all hope was going to take one of us that night. Misery demands its rent, but we both know thats not true. . . . . is it..? Out of respect for jay I do hope sane post this to honour his memory. Jay, luv ya mate

So sad & tragic. Moving & heartbreaking. Two children forced to deal with the severity of the world. @tonys from your description, you did better than many adults would have. You gave your friend all your could that night. Whether it be lack of faith, the path of desolation, none of it could have possibly been your fault. You are the hero in this story my friend. I bet Jay knows this too. May his soul be eternally free. May you be blessed with freedom from any sadness or guilt. You were a baby, doing your best. You are a hero.

Take your time.

Part 2 is not needed.

May you be free from the worst Christmas & all the humps on your humps. Bless You friend. Be free.

@StanD Hi stan. Well hope you saw into the Jay post. I'm all wrung out and hung to dry.

just had a big. big day. I do hope you are doing as best you can given the gravity of immovable objects. See. . . people sometimes philosophise there lives away, and find the holy grail too. Way I see it, life aint fair, never was meant to be.

You either emerge from a malnourished aids infected womb in the deserts of a war torn country'

or you are born into the royal family. Gravy, silver service, and a stress load that lets you live to be 100. . .

Its taking the luck, or lack of it, seeing the shiny side of the coins you got and spending them

as wisely as whatever wisdom you were given will allow. I'm the poorest bloke on my road.

Around me are people that inherited, or had a hand up from mum and dad, or invented a new light bulb. Should hear the agro in town. Me, well I eat whats put on my plate and face whatever comes, grateful I'm still on my feet to stare it down. And The rest is just accepting.

Now of most importance is for me to say.. .. .. thats just my tool box. . !

Mental health is way harder than any hardship I have endured and also makes a good bed fellow of hardship. And the devil too often has licked the back of my neck . .

My eyes on the cities walls say . . . meds saved a lot of lives. this is for you @EternalFlower and any one else .

Please If you need em... take em..

I know this doesnt cover all your letter stan. but I'm totalled.

Oh yes. 8 little baby piggies. all snuggled into mamma .

Luv you all tonys moon base one

@StanD nice words and thankyou so much. While you were scribing round 2 mortar slipped from my grasp. I keep my promises.

You might just dream tonight. . . . dream that you realy are a good man.

tonys Mb 1 over and out.

You write brilliant. Sleep well tonys moon base one @tonys

@StanD

Pleased to hear that you survived the night and well done for supporting @EternalFlower

You stanD tall when needed.

Trust is a hard one and will continue to pop up out of nowhere all of our lives I think.

I trust myself and work at trusting others....ongoing

You also were very supportive of @tonys

Not easy to read about another's deep pain and respond with such strong support.

Again you have more strength within than you allow yourself.

You remind me a little of myself.

You question yourself and are a hard judge of self . ....Others you are there for them when you feel that they deserve to be heard and valued.

I think that you and I need to tell ourselves to be as supportive of our own issues as we are others.

It is not easy when being hard on oneself for a life time.

I will try.

Will you try StanD?

@EternalFlower

That was a very difficult situation to find yourself in with your doctor.

Waiting to hear about how your new medication works and any side effects is an important part of your therapy.

I would feel exactly the same as you; upset and angry.

I have reached a stage where when these feelings arise between myself and my therapist I think about it and then express how I felt at my next session when my emotions are calmer.

I usually write dot points ...without the dots...so that when I digress which I do often...I can bring myself back on track..

My therapist was defensive the first few times.

Then I told him that I had to be honest with him as the therapy would not work if there was not total honesty and that I expected the same from him.

This has helped us move forward.

As far as that medication is concerned. Do you have the name? If you do you could ask your chemist to print out an information sheet about the medication so that you can read it before the appointment.

I would then accept an earlier appointment as offered and listen to what he tells you and discuss what you know and any concerns.

I would also, if you feel comfortable in doing so, calmly let the doctor know how much stress it caused you. He needs to accept this no matter how busy he is, how late you have been whatever.

It is his role to guide the session and look after you.

I am glad that lifeline helped.

You can ring them back later on the same day as well if not settled.

If you do not gel with someone calmly let them know that you think it best you ring back and speak to someone else, say goodbye and hang up. That is not being rude. You are looking after you and they have supports in place and training around their role.

One day at a time.

I hope that you have a better night tonight Eternal as you have a few strategies that you can use.

Goodnight now

Hello @LeChuck

Sorry about the late reply.

I do not receive notifications on my phone and usually use a computer to reply which I am not on every day.

You have arrived at a time when a few people are struggling.

You can see from this that we try to support each other as best we can.

We do not always get it right and sometimes our words are misunderstood.

We just keep on trying.

Overall everyone is respectful and kind.

You are right there definitely is a lot to process.

I would not worry about catching up.

It is hard to remember everything anyway.

Just start from where you are now.

I love that you answered the favourite mode of transport question.

That subject has been put aside for a while which is not an issue either.

So you like a little metal bubble speeding across the face of the world.

Sounds intriguing.

I like that you have a choice whether or not to follow the lines and paths.

That is a good plan to have in life.

Music....yes...can take us away to our own special places and we can be free of all of what weighs us down temporarily.....some reprieve...

So I googled Stasis and see that it is an album by a metalcore band.

Now that is not my area of music at all..

I do appreciate that many would not like my taste in music either which is quite broad.

Do you like the music or the words of their songs or both?

I see where the little metal car fits and you are in a cocoon.

Music does transport us.

Yes when moving around we are active in the world and the world opens up to us. It is up to us to notice and take in what we see.

Lovely to have you over here.

Please reply to anyone and everyone however it works for you.

You are most welcome

Goodnight

@chibam

I need to be more awake and have a clearer mind before I reply.

I am very tired now as it is late.

I will write when my mind is clearer.

Please keep on writing about anything

Others would love to hear from you as well

Goodnight