Motion - new pathways - air -sea -land -us

Thanks @EternalFlower the meeting was both difficult. & valued. I could only do what I could. None of us are perfect, or have all the answers. Hurt happens. Knowing how to avoid fewer hurts would be useful information. Im only trying to get through this life best I can without carnage in my wake.

@Former-Member @Appleblossom @tyme @EternalFlower @LeChuck & anyone else reading.

I wanted to say that there are no bad feelings on my part. I feel sad that this thread imploded on itself.

I feel sad for @Former-Member because I believe your intentions are pure. I'm not sure if my actions contributed to things going haywire. It's too much to consider.

I hope you are all going well. I really dislike conflict. Please understand that I am under enormous strain & instability in my personal life right now. I'm very likely projecting lots of my own stuff on to others.

I don't know how to stop it. I'm so full of fear & uncertainty, it spills out of me. I didn't mean to blame anyone unfairly. I think you are probably all awesome peeps in real life. I just have so much pain - it's become a friend, I can't let go of. It's not because I don't want.

I want nothing more than to be free of all this doubt & fear that continues to hold me back & revels in telling me how I don't deserve.

I'm doing my best to work through & exterminate the little ba⭐rds.

In one way, or another, the people here HAVE helped me in real ways.

I'm cared about. That is for sure!

Have a great weekend everyone.

@StanD I was and still am interested to hear about some of your experiences. If you wanted you could start a new discussion about them, or just keep joining in on others threads. There is no fixed way to use the forum, it can be organic and adapted to needs ...

Hello @Appleblossom

How are you?

I appreciate your suggestion of starting new thread. I don't know how.

I'm fatigued today.

I'm wanting to tell my experiences. I have never been able to talk about it much. Big gaps missing. Protection. Tho is it? Gaps are still evidence.

It's quite sad & depressing

As I said, I would like to share with you. As we are fun the same tribe. I barely know how to write a sentence & communicate properly. That is how it feels. When it comes to talking about deeper stuff on these forums, I have lots of worries about where & how to share my story in appropriate way.

Having never spoken about it before adds more later of confusion. How would I express?

You were correct. My parents died before I was even born. The first family I lived with were beautiful people. As a baby, I believed this was my home & family. I had no concept that I would be moved without any say. Heartbreaking for a child. A first dream taken away before, it had time to become the norm.

I'm guessing maybe you endured similar feelings of instability, control taken away.

.

That is

I'm reflecting now how people who are born into what is considered a fortunate life, with security, love?, wealth might be threatened by our tribe.

Core strength, courage, bravery that is incomprehensible to one who has had an easier path.

But, we have incomprehensible fear too.

I'm reflecting that part of the reason the 'withouts' get bullied throughout life is because we are a big threat.

Our vulnerabilities are overlooked because we appear so competent by comparison.

@Appleblossom

In response to your post 27Feb2023

@LeChuck

Sorry not meant to come across as formal

more about making it easier for you to understand what on earth is motion talking about

That was the exact intention of my starting the thread.

I was new and started off in welcome area somewhere.

I think that I wrote vaguely probably not clearly enough about wanting to get away from my mind and life.

Hence motion

asked preferences of travel

came up with air sea land us contributed by self, eternal flower and Stan D

Stan D thought of new pathways

integrated all into title as a gesture of including everyone as equals.

Was a bit stagnant to start

some headway

then after veering around health issues

boom

you know the rest

I tried

I will write an ending to what had potential to use the imagination

I thank you for your input as your tone was always welcoming and light

Cheers

Thank you

@LeChuck

Was not expecting a support to appear.

Appreciate

Last post

So that everyone knows, I did try to address this with a moderator for the thread to be monitored to look after all participants at the time.

@EternalFlower @StanD @tyme here from the beginning of ???

@tonys @Appleblossom arrived and experienced the explosion

@Sophia1 someone invited you.

A time to thank those of you who genuinely supported each other and myself

This has taken me a long time of do I or don’t I

The decision today is I do

Hello

I have been shocked, hurt and left feeling astounded.

I tried to start a thread with good intentions of allowing the mind to wander, play with our imaginations.

That got sidetracked. So that is what is.

This is a website where there are a whole range of life experiences, illnesses, trauma and much more.

My attempt to write about the need to respect all also received a response that was derisive and criticising.

I feel for anyone in life who has experienced trauma and hardship, loss, illness and everything that accompanies these times plus endless more.

Yes, I do believe that we all should feel comfortable in opening up and feel in a safe space to do so. That is the elephant in the room though.

Where is the space safe when some are looked after and not all.

We all communicate differently and so we should, we are who we are and come here with hope.

Not one of us is better than another though, despite the horrors that they have endured.

I have endured some horrific stuff. I did not come here to share it. I want to have time out not allowing it to rule my head and my life.

Perhaps that is why I have not been accepted as me.

If others want to share that is why they are here. I am not making any rules about what to write about. How to write it , Yes Yes Yes

I will never take it out on someone else though either.

I will never compare one person's life to another.

All humans are equal

including those who say this and think that they are better

@tonysI think that it might help you to know that I did receive a copy of the scathing letter that affected you so strongly.

I am not in the least surprised at your reaction.

It was venomous and written with intent to hurt,

(not you though, I believe,)

more to hurt all of the perpetrators who had hurt the person concerned. Lashing out at you recognising your kindness and vulnerability.

This does not diminish the intensity of the impact on you.

I am so sorry that you were put through that experience.

I sincerely hope that Sane is taking that very seriously and putting immediate steps in place to make sure that it never ever happens again.

This is dreadful . I have experienced this in real life time over and over from different people.

Boundaries. Yes there are special sections on the forums about these.

@StanDI am so sorry that you experienced such anguish at such depth.

You are not wrong in feeling those emotions as they are real for you.

You cannot lash out at others though.

Help in this area has perhaps never been offered to you.

Perhaps time since and discussion around this possibly has allowed you to learn a little slowly.

It will probably take time as I felt your pain was insurmountable and came out perhaps without you realising.

That is where this style of communication is not helpful in fact is problematic.

This is where something should have been written on the space by Sane, where your message was removed, advising all, that due to a difficult time a post has been removed. The matter has been addressed. Please know that none of you must feel any responsibility. Your feelings and experience on here is just as valuable as anyone. Or something in Sane speak

I did read the letter that you received that was quickly taken down leaving a huge crevice for everyone else to be left reeling.

Comfort coming from all directions to certain people.

Wrong. comfort to all or none.

I have stayed away from this thread as I have felt so hurt and violated.

Not one single person from Sane has bothered to write to me outside of the forums even though I requested via moderator option that his thread be closely moderated to protect all members. That did not occur. How was I supported in daring to stand up and protect others?

So I will not stay in a place where some are looked after, over protected, others cruelly disrespected and myself perhaps more just disregarded.

I do thank those of you who did leave kind posts.

I also want to thank you for making the effort of apologising Stan D, however after your treatment of me in response to my trying to settle the storm and focus on respect, also reading further posts from you here and elsewhere, sadly I question the sincerity.

I would prefer you not apologise just to save face.

Again I do not believe that you want to be this way. I hope that you receive guidance moving forward helping you to talk with others.

I truly believe that you do want to be nice to people. I did feel that from you in the early stages.

Thank you for those times.

Please do not give up learning. It will take time. You deserve help just as much as everyone else.

It really saddens me that I am writing this to you as it hurts me when others hurt.

Please learn from this.

If you choose to hate me I will live with that. I just want you to rise above your perpetrators and be the kind caring person I saw glimpses of so that you can start to have a better life.

I mean that.

Hurt and left feeling a strong sense of discrimination and stigmatism seeped through the portals.

This will probably be taken down before being read.

I do have a copy and will be forwarding it to Sane directly.

I realise that I will now be unwelcome.

Truth hurts sadly.

Motion is moving on

Farewell

Hearing you @Former-Member and wishing you well, no matter where you travel ...

I loved your idea of the thread.

I have witnessed similar conflicts in life and the long time I have been on the forum.

I do see it as mainly a sad misunderstanding about different ways of being and communicating from the individuals involved.

I can empathise with your distress as being the thread originator. I am impressed by the clarity in your last post.

I was concerned but not as badly personally impacted.

I hope all involved find ways to bounce back and keep resilient.

I do not know why you did not get support. I am not party to behind the scenes workload or decisions. Yes I believe you and this situation should have deserved support. I have felt similarly alone and wounded in similar situations. I have seen Sane gradually improve their protocols since I joined, as they should. I remain cautious about calling this a "safe place" and the even the possibility of creating safe spaces.

Sane will be less without you.

@Former-Member of course I will support your post. All you ever wanted to do was create a safe space for people, it's admirable. I know it sort of imploded eventually, as life in the wild west might too. But you did a good thing and I'm sorry it took a turn on you and caused you pain.

You should have received support. I never felt I quite fit in this thread so I was inspired by you to go forth into the threads and find myself a place that felt like home. You are always welcome at the saloon, just prepare yourself for incomprehensible absurdity through the lens of an old wild west movie.

LeChuck

@Former-Member @Appleblossom And I don"t know who else to send this too....

But M A T E. . . . . ! ! I'm yelling with my loudest holler. . . Please don't leave us

Motion , Your about the smartest fella, I know, And I knew you always had my back

old friend. Theres a few of us on another crazy thread. Come and join us.

@Thyme I think is one of the sane chiefs. Maybe they can email you privately and let you know which one we are in. Its, fun fun fun, and your invited.

I'm glad you saw that post before they took it down. Didn't what folks thinking I bailed for no reason. And I did love being on your thread.

Anyway my posts go through a second device that filters and I never actually see posts from

people in the algorithm. All I recieve is a blank space. . Tech guy in Sydney set it up.

Stops the stalkers n bullys getting In my head.

So, we need that wonderful intellect, humour , sense of fairness , and experience,

That we all looked up to you for.

Thankyou for your very kind words. Your my friend. and I don't let go of friends easily.

Please post me Tonys, moon base one