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I decided to start a new thread, my new chapter in my life is going to focus on healing my traumas, building resilience and self-worth and taking the steps of achieving mood stability. I am praying this year will be better than the last. Last year the SI got really intense, was so close to losing hope and I felt like my heart was breaking into a million pieces like shattered glass. It all still feels overwhelming, I have a long way to go on my healing journey, but I think I'm starting to feel a bit more hopeful about the future.
In response to: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@tyme, I thought the flashbacks were gone, clearly not 😞.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
tymeModerator
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Hey hun, be gentle with yourself. @creative_writer .
It would be good to work with a trained therapist on these when you are ready. You have to be ready for it. And look, you may never find yourself ready, and that's also okay. There's trauma in my life I have never tackled and I don't think I ever will.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@tyme, I am working through it slowly. The only clear cut trigger I can think of is the conversation I had with my psych two weeks ago. It was very confronting and awkward. It still confuses me what caused the flashback right now. Maybe it was something else because two weeks is a long time. I think she plans for more EMDR next week. There are two parts, my trauma and vicarious trauma (which triggered my past trauma).
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
tymeModerator
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Makes sense @creative_writer . But do you feel ready to tackle it now? You can always say STOP when you feel it is too much.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@tyme, I feel like I need to do something because keeping it in is only destroying me. I have control over how much I share. I can think about how much I am willing to share and draw boundaries. Thankfully, EMDR doesn’t require you to talk about things in great detail. So that might not be a bad option. I did a bit of EMDR ages ago, it did help.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
tymeModerator
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Definitely good to keep your options open @creative_writer . If EMDR worked in the past, that's a good way to go.
It's good to see your proactive approach.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@tyme, my psych also has to assess that I am not disassociating either. She also will talk me through self regulation too. I think too much is within me that needs to come out slowly. I just feel a bit distraught I suppose, not having flashbacks seemed like a good sign, but my body went against me today.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
tymeModerator
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Remember? Recovery is not linear 🙂@creative_writer
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@tyme, that’s true. Healing is also hard sometimes. I know it’s about balance, I can’t close off completely, but I can’t open up more than I feel comfortable with. But it’s still not going to be easy. It all feels so overwhelming. Am I strong enough?
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
tymeModerator
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Yes, you are strong enough! @creative_writer
Helpful self-talk is so important. I believe this has really carried me through life.
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