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I decided to start a new thread, my new chapter in my life is going to focus on healing my traumas, building resilience and self-worth and taking the steps of achieving mood stability. I am praying this year will be better than the last. Last year the SI got really intense, was so close to losing hope and I felt like my heart was breaking into a million pieces like shattered glass. It all still feels overwhelming, I have a long way to go on my healing journey, but I think I'm starting to feel a bit more hopeful about the future.
In response to: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@Kyle1 sounds like you had a productive morning. It's always a mood lifter to help others 🙂 , I hope you enjoy your well deserved coffee.
I'm doing alright, still in a bit of a fog from being ill, but feel tons better than yesterday, hopefully, I don't end up with a bad migraine again today too.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Kyle1Senior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Have you a sunny day, atleast? Warm sun on the back is good medicine! 🤗
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@Kyle1 The day began as foggy but the sun did come out around 10 am. Still opened the blinds as soon I woke up to get started and out of bed. I can't believe I didn't realise staying in bed in the dark after awakening was just feeding my depression, kind of puts your day off from the start. I hope the weather is nice where you are 🤗.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Kyle1Senior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
I guess that's where I'm fortunate, @creative_writer living in a rural setting: I can leave my blinds open at night so the morning floods in whether I'm in bed still, or not...
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@Kyle1, I live in an outer suburb away from the Melbourne CBD. I sleep with the blinds shut and open them after I wake up, my bed is right next to the window so I don't even have to get out of bed. I don't think inner suburb or Melbourne CBD life would be for me, too much noise pollution, and too many people, I get sensory overload.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
I felt invalidated explaining my seasonal symptoms to my counsellor 😔, I don’t think it’s an association, I think I genuinely feel down when it’s dark, ever since I was a kid, before I knew it was an actual thing.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Maybe I shouldn’t really need validation. I just fear once May hits it’ll be more rough. I am okay right now, but for how much longer?
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
I wonder why I feel like I need to explain things to people. It’s just been a pattern, when days get shorter, I can get more depressed and tired. When days gets longer I get more agitated and more prone to hypomania which I control by evening blue light glasses, and by carrying sunglasses to wear when I feel it to be too much. I don’t understand my brain to explain. I need light to feel less depressed, but I can’t have too much either.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
tymeModerator
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Maybe you don't have to explain? Please know you are not alone @creative_writer
Life has a lot of complexities. It would take more than our little minds to dissect things.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@tyme, maybe pdoc is the best person to talk to about this. I am just afraid of becoming more unstable again, I have been feeling more stable since Tuesday than I have for a while and I really don’t want this to just be a brief phase that follows intense SI depression. I can finally think more clearly, and process things that I haven’t before since brain was too clogged.
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