Piecing the shattered glass together

I can hear how much you're struggling with this @creative_writer - please remember though that how 'bad' it was doesn't matter anywhere near as much as how it made you feel. If it hurts, if it's weighing you down, then you deserve whatever support you need to help process it and move forward. Everyone responds to trauma differently so even if other people have it 'worse' (though in my experience there is no worse or easier or anything, it's all relative) it doesn't mean your own response to what you've been through isn't completely valid.

I think our society makes us feel like selfishness is 100% bad all the time - but in fact, it's a really important thing to learn. Took me ages to actually be able to listen to my own needs and prioritise myself! I wonder if you maybe could be a little more selfish, if it means you have the chance to heal. And then in turn, perhaps one day this pain will be useful to you, and you can turn then to help others, if that's what you want to do.

I hope you find some inspiration 🤗💜

@Jynx, it was really painful to go through it. I hated how my body felt too. I felt like I had no control.

I’ve grown up caring about other before myself. Maybe it’s often an expectation from women from society. It may also be related to my ethnic cultural background. I do want to be able to help others, but I’ve found that my cup isn’t full enough right now. It’s hard to prevent my emotions from pouring out during a volunteer shift. I had to take a break but I do really want to go back. It gave me purpose and made me feel useful.

🫂♥️

You will get there @creative_writer. I too grew up putting everyone else's needs first. It wasn't until I was drowning in it all and someone told me I needed to learn to be selfish that I started the journey towards being able to actually care about my needs.

Even if you're working on yourself and focusing inward, that is still useful to others in its own way - because if trauma has cycles that get passed from person to person, so too does healing, so working on your own stuff first means that you can get back to that meaningful work when the time is right for you. But as you know, you cannot pour from an empty cup. But if you think of yourself as a candle that is dimming, once you've gotten yourself into a better mental space you can glow bright and light up other candles along the way without ever needing to dim your own flame.

💜🕯💖

Hugs @creative_writer . Hearing you. I just came past to say hello, but I'm not staying. Evening mods will be on.

Hi @creative_writer,

I'm sorry to read you have been having a tough week - sounds like you have a bit going on.

Just take you time around uni - I can understand that it isn't helping your feelings around anxiety. I remember reading all the information before a semester would start and it seemed overwhelming but then I would remind myself the content was over the whole semester.

I hope you are okay and you can do something nice for yourself today.

Hugs,

FloatingFeather

I hope you are able to get some rest @creative_writer and that your head starts to feel a bit better soon. You have done so well to resist the urge to SH and you should be really proud of yourself for resisting for so long.

Is there something you like to do that can help clear your thoughts a little. Do you enjoy going for a walk, listening to music / podcast? I find when I am feeling despondent I do better if I do something that really engages my mind so I can keep the intrusive thoughts more at bay.