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I decided to start a new thread, my new chapter in my life is going to focus on healing my traumas, building resilience and self-worth and taking the steps of achieving mood stability. I am praying this year will be better than the last. Last year the SI got really intense, was so close to losing hope and I felt like my heart was breaking into a million pieces like shattered glass. It all still feels overwhelming, I have a long way to go on my healing journey, but I think I'm starting to feel a bit more hopeful about the future.
In response to: Piecing the shattered glass together
tymeModerator
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
That's a good way to put it. Tom IS another day. @creative_writer
I'll be hopping off now too. Please take care. Chat soon.
In response to: Piecing the shattered glass together
tymeModerator
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
That's a good way to put it. Tom IS another day. @creative_writer
I'll be hopping off now too. Please take care. Chat soon.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Anyone know how to not feel so worthless and unloveable because of trauma? I need to feel worthwhile, it might just save my life. I’m safe, I’ll be out for a bit, I hope I will be okay once I come back.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Are there any moments where you feel loving or gentle to someone or thing or animal. Even a passing moment of seeing something beautiful? I try to keep remembering those kinds of things, almost to rewire all the hard difficult things, in my mind. At first it felt hard. Anyway that is what helped me. It is also known as a practice of "loving-kindness" or metta. If you can feel it at all, eventually try and collect the feelings within and begin to apply it yourself.
@creative_writer Hugs
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
FloatingFeatherSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
Hi @creative_writer,
I know many people just on the forums that think so highly of you. You are very worthy and very loveable and I'm sorry that your trauma is robbing you of these feelings.
I really hope you feel a bit better when you come back from your outing and thank you for letting us know you are safe.
You deserve every happiness and joy in life my friend.
FloatingFeather
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@Appleblossom, it is so much easier to be compassionate towards loved ones and animals. Developing compassion for myself has been a very hard thing. I know it’s a gradual process 🫂
@FloatingFeather, I went out for lunch, just reached home right now. Feeling a bit better, but now the thoughts have started hitting. I hope one day, I don’t feel so defined by it. Living like this is very exhausting 😢
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
FloatingFeatherSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
I'm think it was a good thing you went out for lunch @creative_writer and am glad to read you are feeling a little better.
I hope one day very soon those feelings of being defined by it ease for you and that life shines brightly for you ❤️.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
@FloatingFeather took a shower just now. I’m going to have to plan something for the evening so I don’t get too pulled by SI. Have to try to remain hopeful, but it’s hard. MH is weird, I feel like I’ve taken steps backwards. I am craving to just breakdown and be comforted but I can’t do that. I can comfort myself if I do cry at night alone. I’ll be my own shoulder to cry on.
💖
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
In the journey of piecing the shattered glass together, I feel like I’m being tested, pushed and pulled in different directions. I am trying to see hope beyond the darkness, but it’s hard. When I thought I got better, I got worse. Flashbacks returned. I relapsed into SH. It’s hard to get on with my day and concentrate on the things I need to get done. I really need to try to keep myself safe, but resisting SH and SI urges is hard 😢.
I wish I didn’t feel like I was going through it alone. But I really don’t want to burden people with my endless pain, I’m not sure if I’m that worth it. I’ve already reached out to a helpline, I’ll let someone else reach out because they may need it more than me. I don’t want to become too dependent.
People tell me I have so much to look forward to in my life, still being young and in my 20s. But I feel like other people my age are doing so much more than I am, while I’m still on the mend. Even if I was to do so much more in the future, I’ll need to recover. But it’s just taking so long.
In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together
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