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Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

@Emelia8 @Shaz51 @FloatingFeather @tyme @hanami @Eve7 @Snowie @oceangirl @MDT @moderator and others i have missed

@BPDSurvivor @amber22

Today has been a very difficult day filled with mixed emotions. I had a phone call from Victims of Crime Support and am assigned to a case worker. She was very empathetic, explained the process of going to the police. She later called back to say she had phoned the police (SOCIT) in my area and the detective she spoke to outlined briefly what would happen if i went in to make a report.

As one of my 3 abusers is now deceased i can make a disclosure report and then they will close the file.

Doing this will hopefully give me validation and closure and Victim of Crime Support said I will then be able to get some compensation for counselling.

I was to call the detective and spoke to her for a few minutes. we have made an appt for this coming thursday for me to go down to see her and give all the information about my historical abuse.

Now this is where i am nervous, anxious but at the same time i feel i need to do this for closure and validation that someone is listening to me.

I am not really sure how i will feel on thursday morning, i'd say very anxious and scared.

If someone asked me to do this years ago I would have said no. but i feel that i am at a different headspace now to go further.

So many questions running through my head. the victim of crimes support case worker will call me on friday to see how i am.

i have just emailed my psych to see if i can see her on wednesday.

have i done the right thing? i think i have but doubts.

i hope i haven't triggered anyone.

60 replies

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In response to: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

@BlueBay

So much strength and courage from you.

Be proud of how far you have come.

My thoughts and love are with you 💜💜

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

thank you everyone for helping me get through last week

@Snowie @Appleblossom @tyme @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Bow

What a week!!

I am okay, today is day 4 since giving all my childhood abuse details to the police.

Trying to process what i did took a while. i think i still am but at the moment no regrets.

My psychiatrist called me thursday night late to check in on me and told me to be kind to myself over the weekend and be proud of what i have achieved.

Proud - not sure i feel proud

i have been kind to myself, just relaxing at the beach with a book, quick swim, play with A yesterday and then dinner with my D and her fiance and girls. It was nice.

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

I have to say it is a HUGE step @BlueBay - I am proud of you too.

Perhaps this is the way to get 'closure' on your part. Do you think so?

Enjoy the rest of the weekend. Sounds great 🙂

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Glad that you are taking self care seriously @BlueBay

Honestly if it takes another week to get back to normal it takes as long as it takes.

The hugeness is on a few levels i) we are changing a culture where it gets swept under the table and the victims just suffer and abusers get away with it.

2) Personally taking yourself and trauma seriously and going through due process may help relieve some of the intensity of flashback and memories. Fully expressing the reality it was been for you, rather than worrying about family dynamics and all that.

It is not a miraculous cure or path and there may still be challenges, but putting it out in the world is better than it going round in your head. I still have not done all I ought to in this regard. Going to an info session tmrw. Finding the right way to deal with it all.

As long as it takes.

Gently Bently

Apple

In response to: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Good morning @BlueBay How are you today? Just wanting to check in with you ❤️

Hello to everyone else around!! @Appleblossom @Snowie @Emelia8 What is everyone up to today?

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Hi @amber22 i am sorry i keep forgetting to tag yoiu. I wanted to tag you in my other post 'need to vent' but i couldn't remember your name!! I have had far too much going on.

how am I? - not great. i am overwhelmed, tired, feel sick in the stomach, feel dizzy and nauseous. I saw my GP this morning and broke down telling him how everything is too much and i can't cope, i can't think.

There is this whole police thing of last week, then there is the legal aid stuff with regards to my dismissal (discrimination).

i think right now it's hit me big time. i feel like passing out. i am trying to take things slow,

i just need a break, thank goodness hubby and i are going away in a weeks time for 2 1/2 weeks. i just need to get away.

i will tag you in my other post. thanks for checking in. xxxx

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

hi @amber22 @Appleblossom @tyme @Snowie @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @FloatingFeather

and others reading on

i have an appt with a lawyer who i will see on 20 Feb (after my holidays). I am nervous as I don't know what questions she will ask.

I am guessing that after this she will lodge the application in for compensation/financial assistance for ongoing psychological help.

everything is happening so quickly that my mind is racing, i feel scared

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

I hear you are scared and you every right to be @BlueBay .

Sitting with you in this.

As I read, I'm also thinking, in a way, it is probably good it is 'moving' faster than expected because it gives you less time to 'think' in between? Would you say that what is good about it?

I don't think I could bear waiting weeks and weeks in between each step. I would be pining with not knowing, anxiety and fear.

Please take care.

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

True @tyme

in a way it’s good because yes I don’t have time to think for too long.
move been feeling sick in my stomach and dizzy.

im seeing my psych again on Monday.
i feel I’m going crazy. Or crazier.
my body is falling apart.

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

hi everyone @tyme @amber22 @Appleblossom @Snowie @Emelia8 @Gwynn @Shaz51 and others i have forgotten (sorry)

feeling a bit odd today

just hit me while driving what i have done

crying and couldn't wait to get home to cocoon myself

it's hit me

others things too on my mind that is making me feel horrible, guilty

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