Self Medicating Again

@utopia - what a great thing this forum is - a place to be able to say - oh look what I've done. I stopped drinking (again) in 2010 and have not picked up since. I hauled on an almighty effort to stop. it was that or die. That or lose my partner.

I used it to runaway, to hide, to console but it always ended up exposing the worst of me, finding the flaws in me and making me hideous in my own eyes.

If you want to put it down, let it go. I don't "try not to drink" I don't drink. If I crave a g&t, I substitute it with a cup of tea and lemon juice or go for a walk and give my mind a mental toy to play with - any thought thhat is positive and not abut picking up will do. Like thinking of all he animals you can that start with A, then moving on to B etc. Eventually your mind jumps the drink track. ( Basically do anything helpful that is not picking up a drink. I almost lost my relationship of 19 years because of alcohol. Tt was her or the booze. I chose her and I am glad i did because it meant that I chose myself too.

After not drinking for while I started to see that the problems I had (that I self medicated for) needed dealing with up front. They don;t go away. everything is harder with a hangover.

Must have been the weekend for it as I indulged a bit in alcohol too with everything that happened but not till Saturday when I calmed down a bit. I dont see too much harm in a little indulgence here and there as long as we dont depend on it. Like everyone else I cant drink much as with the meds it effects me a great deal so the most I have is maybe 1 glass of red while cooking or eating and if its real cold I may have a liqueuer before bed.

I Hope @utopia & @Former-Member are feeling much better about yourselves and not being so hard on yourselves either.

I'm wondering as quite a few of us seem to be having a real hard time of late, maybe the christmas things is starting to bring up stress? I personally hate christmas and dont have anything to do with it, me and my partner just hide away from the chaos and madness that comes with it. But one thing I have found since not doing "the christmas thing" you start to notice how everybody around you gets more and more stressed as it approaches. I start hearing my neighbours arguing, people in the shops get very short and rude and its starting now.

Oh! we are all so good at helping others but horrible at taking our own advice! 🙂

Thinking of you @utopia xxxooo