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i don't just feel worthless as a person, but I feel my whole life is worthless. I keep asking myself, what am I doing here? This worthless, unlovable, purposeless nobody. All I can think about is everything that has happened this year and even just very recently. I can't take it. It's driving me not up the wall, but off the edge. My thoughts are being pushed and pulled all over the place and it's recently led me down a very dark path. I think I've now reached the end because I dont want to be here anymore and the realisation is I don't have to be...I'm in control of this and nobody can take that away from me...
Hi @Loz_3647, I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time.
Please check the emails we sent you for additional support.
In response to: Re: Worthless
Loz_3647Senior Contributor
Re: Worthless
There's no support anywhere....none of that matters because theres nothing anyone can do....I am done with talking to the online counselling services etc. They give the same response over and over....that's why everything seems so useless
In response to: Worthless
DimitySenior Contributor
Re: Worthless
@Loz_3647 hello. We haven't "spoken" before but I've seen your posts and how miserable you're feeling . You haven't said before what got you to this point. You say a lot has happened this year including very recently. What's happened @Loz_3647 ? And are you living with family or facing all this alone? Are you willing to share what's happening for you? There are lots of good people here but sometimes we need an opening - even just a little one - to respond to. We (forum people) don't usually do platitudes or scripted questions and answers like telephone counsellors might. But we listen and often understand - sometimes we may surprise you.
In response to: Re: Worthless
Loz_3647Senior Contributor
Re: Worthless
I haven't said because I feel it's too much to go into. But involves abuse and trauma, DV, drug dependence/addiction, porn addiction, alcohol abuse, suicide attempts and self harm, as well as financial hardship, relationship/family issues, cheating etc. I won't ever go into the details but those are the main topics from the year. I deal with some pretty complex MH issues, and some of which are undiagnosed because I'm too scared to tell someone about them. I see and hear things but fear aboit telling people about them. I have held this belief that i am destined to d!e pretty soon and feel this devil on my shoulder constantly prompting and urging me to act. But you wouldn't know this to look at me. I feel like in various places I've seen myself dead. And get many ideas on how to do it it's a scary and very dark place in my head. But even when I've touched on these issues they get brushed off as nothing and not taken seriously. With no help on even what I have spoken about already, I don't see there being any help for any of it
In response to: Re: Worthless
DimitySenior Contributor
Re: Worthless
Oh @Loz_3647@moderator that's a heavy burden to be carrying, some of which you may be able to get help with through the right channels and some of it out of your control - but none of it deserves the shame and guilt and self-loathing you've been expressing. Are you still in a DV or abuse situation or are you safe from that? Do you have a roof and food at the moment? Financial hardship can cut very deep and even if not dire limits our choices.
In response to: Re: Worthless
BookwormSenior Contributor
Re: Worthless
Hi @Dimity
Thank you for the tag. We just wanted to reply to assure you that we're aware of the situation.
Kind regards,
Bookworm
In response to: Re: Worthless
Loz_3647Senior Contributor
Re: Worthless
Aware of what situation....so you can go and report me...
In response to: Re: Worthless
Loz_3647Senior Contributor
Re: Worthless
Not going to go into those details on here.
None of it matters anyway
In response to: Re: Worthless
Loz_3647Senior Contributor
Re: Worthless
Last night and I think the night before I 'tried to get help' from those additional services but it was all the same response. It does more damage to my MH because it just pushes me further into the realisation that I am on my own in this. It doesn't matter whether or not I'm hurting inside or hurting myself on the outside.
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