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Happiness guilt

Jenn4Senior Contributor25 Dec 2022, 1:48 am AEDT

Happiness guilt

Hey friends (Merry Christmas!). I am bipolar, and I really grapple with giving myself permission to be happy. And also excited/exuberant/joyful/myself. Even though I do not view myself as having an illness, when I am these things, I have the underlying tug that it's not fully okay and I hate it and it sucks. I also worry that the people around me, particularly those who know that I am bipolar, but also others, get concerned/pitiful/worried/uneasy when I am happy/excited/exuberant/joyful/myself. I think there is some element of validity in that worry, particularly when it concerns people who know that I am bipolar and also don't know me very well. Please help, this is really hard for me. Would love to connect with others for whom this is also the case, and please help me out. Love and peace, Jenn4

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In response to: Happiness guilt

GraceUponGraceContributor18 Jan 2023, 9:33 am AEDT

Re: Happiness guilt

Hi Jenn4,

I totally relate to the fear of what others think when I’m happy. I’m not bipolar but GAD/OCD/depression. I feel like lately because I’ve been a bit unstable again, my friends don’t trust my decision making. Admittedly some of it is a little impulsive but most of the time in the last 6 weeks I have been in “survival mode”. I’m trying to focus on gratitude, and I’m trying to regain a sense of self trust so my stability/emotions/everything aren’t based on what other people think or their approval (as long as a reasonable person would agree my behaviour and decisions are rational).

Giving ourselves permission to enjoy the positive emotions can be hard if we feel that we don’t deserve it or that others are judging us etc. I empathise with you.

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