Hi @Senorita,
Welcome to the Forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE.
I am really sorry to read how difficult things have been for your son, your family and yourself over the last few years. Watching someone you love struggle and that feeling of helpless is something I am familiar with. My heart goes out to you all.
At the end of the day (as you said) as much as we want to wish it for our children your son needs to want to live.
My son (also 19 at the time) was struggling with a sense of being lost and had serious depression. I felt some of his problem was related to the fact that he didn't have a purpose in his life at the time. I knew he loved animals so I encouraged him to find a job in that area. Fortunately he did find a job at a pet store which he loves til this day. Many benefits came from this job for my son including it gave him a routine, a purpose in life, something to look forward to and most importantly (in my opinion) social interaction with people of a similar age group.
It wasn't the miracle cure and he still has rough days but it definitely helped build his confidence and helped ease his mind around depression.
Do you also have some support / someone you can talk to? This is not an easy place for you to be in either. If you don't have support I would really encourage you to talk to your GP, a trusted family member or friend etc as this would be taking it's toll on you (and others in your family) as well. This is a link to some information around being a carer that may be of some help family and carers.
I wish you, your son and your family all the best.
Warm wishes,
FloatingFeather
PS. a couple of tips for the Forums - if you want to directly chat with someone on the Forums use the @ symbol and then start typing their name directly after it. A dropdown box should appear, and you then select their name. This ensures that they are notified of any posts you mention them in. Another tip is that the most recent posts are the latest page numbers.