My glass is empty

I'm sorry to hear how tough things are @alwk . I'm listening and I hear that you feel your glass is empty so you have nothing left to give - sounds like carer fatigue.

With so much going on, have you got supports for yourself? It is so important that you can speak to someone about whatever is happening. We all know you can't pour from an empty cup. Sometimes, it's about taking time to look after yourself.

You can have a look at some ideas at JOIN US: Wednesdays’ Well of Wellness – Wellness Tips for Carers!

Also, have you tried our counselling line? They are available 10am-10pm AEDT Monday to Friday on 1800 187 263.

Please take care. You deserve it.

tyme

Hi @alwk,

I wanted to reach out and let you know that I really feel for you. Some of what you have said is quite relatable to my own situation a few years ago. In my case I had a parent that had a serious illness, my other parent was very needy in terms of emotional support and another family member was dealing with their own problems around a serious mental health issue. I was exhausted and felt like the `buck always stopped with me'. My family all said I have `broad shoulders' but even the strongest get worn down overtime. I started to realise I didn't want to be the one with the broad shoulders anymore - I wanted to pass all the responsibility of being a carer onto someone else but there was no one to pass it onto.

I also understand the rollercoaster that bipolar can be as someone close to me was diagnosed with it many years ago. They are doing a lot better now in terms of mood swings but I remember when they were initially diagnosed how erratic their mood swings were. Like you, I wasn't scared physically of this person but nonetheless their moods could be quite scary at times. Hopefully with the right treatment and therapy your son's mood will settle too. It can take sometime to find the right balance but it is definitely achievable.

It's very normal as a carer to feel what you are feeling (I know) - sometimes I wanted to walk away from it all too. I know it's not easy to fill your cup at all when things are so intense but I would encourage you to take time out in your day, everyday (even if it is only for 30 minutes) to just do whatever it is that helps you fill your cup. Being a carer to three people at one time taught me to put my boundaries in place, know when I needed a break and took it (even if it was to hide in the shower for 30 minutes), and recognised the idea of putting that oxygen mask on myself first was key to getting through the day sometimes. If I couldn't take care of me there was no way I could help take care of anyone else. I also learned that I can't do everything, be everything, fix everything for those I cared for - I could only do my best within reason but I also needed to care about me. This is a link to some information about being a carers.

I wish you all the best - you are doing the best you can and that is all any of us can do.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

Thank you floating feather for responding. I have been feeling so alone lately. I work as a case manager and tell people every day to take care of themselves before taking care of their loved ones but don’t take my own advice.
I have a habit of taking on the family’s problems and needing to fix everyone.
I need to stop but not sure how.
In my own state lately I have made some stupid self worth decisions and I know im better than this. I am a mess but you are right, I need to spend time focusing on myself daily. I am more than the people around me.
Thank you again for taking the time.
This a great space to speak to people going through similar issues and feel free to speak my truth.

Thank you so much for your support

I will definitely check out Wednesday Well of Wellness