Self harm

Hi there @DID82

Thank you for sharing how you are feeling and what you are experiencing, I can only imagine how difficult that thought process must be for you.

I want to acknowledge how brave you are for sharing your journey and reaching out for support and advice. I am sure that there are many members online that can help you with that as well, and I hope that this become a safe space that you can share how you are feeling.

I think that it is really commendable that you have been using some DBT strategies to help not to do anything or harm yourself, and I am glad to hear that they have been working. Would you feel comfortable sharing some of these strategies that help you?

Sitting with you,

Amber22

hey @DID82 ❤️ Nice to see you!

I'm going to tag some of our CGs too, but I noticed you felt unsure of what to say or if this post was ok. It is! it's great that you're reaching out for support. Lot's of members find it useful to look at this post on creating safety online when talking about self harm. How to post safely about self harm: A guide

And hello, I thought tag some of you to say hi or to connect ❤️ or just pass on through @Faith-and-Hope @Judi9877 @NatureLover @outlander @Shaz51 @ShiningStar @Snowie @MDT @wellwellwellnez @maddison @pinklollipop15 @Eve7

The ones that really works for me is involving the senses. Though it can be focusing on what you see, smell, hear, taste etc mine is touch. So having an item to touch and focus on the shape, any bumps curves etc. also cold works really well, lying on really cold tiles in winter, cool or cold shower or even splashing your face with cold water. Imagination is good remembering somewhere you felt safe or even a beach scene or something you find peaceful. Mindfulness, smiling mind is free that does mindfulness exercises. Changing the emotion with a different emotion it doesn’t even have to be one of the more positive ones. As long as you change it. Distraction but not to be over used otherwise it becomes avoidance. I liked how they described it, it’s not about solving it in a time of crisis it’s about not making it worse and sometimes one strategy may not work so to have a few strategies up your sleeve to practice in crisis. Another one I like was progressive muscle relaxation and I find spending time with my cat helps, but people also like mindful walks and running and other exercise. Planting your feet firmly on the ground and pushing down or movement also helps. There are many more but that is a few that have helped me

Oh wow that is so helpful, thank you so much for sharing all of these !! @DID82

I think it would be really good for other members to see as well in case they were looking for some strategies that could help them too. When I am feeling anxious I often use cold water therapy or an ice block on my face to help me to come back to the senses of cold and touch.

I love that your cat helps as well, I can say the same about my bunny. He is always there for a cuddle and helps me to feel a lot better when I am not feeling great.

Thank you again for sharing all of these,

I appreciate it a lot,
Amber22

Hello @DID82 it is such hard thing to discuss and you wrote really respectfully. It can be a cognitive habit and the brain goes on repeat with it. I like all the approaches you posted and feel you are probably well on the path through it. I self harmed for over 10 years but eventually it receded into the background. I am still careful about it but it is not front and centre like it used to be.

There are some great people in this community. Hope you feel the support.

I suffer very badly from anxiety (at least that is until I received professional therapy specifically for this). I used to have rage attacks, engage in horrible self-talk and regularly do self-harm. I was terribly ashamed of all this. My psychiatrist sent me to a specialist where I got CBT. To say there’s been a reduction in all of the above is an understatement. My closest has commented that there’s been a huge improvement. And my sense of self is much better. Totally recommend professional support as an option.

hi, I lived a really messed up childhood full of abuse including physical, mental and emotional and i know how you feel about having a hard time with not feeling the same as you did back then when you have to talk about it or when you think about it.

i spent years hurting myself mostly physically but i also use to hurt myself emotionally, it is still hard now days after years of help and support to not hurt myself in any way and i admit that there are times where i do slip up and hurt myself, the reason i still slip up is because i never learnt how to express my anger or let it out safely, if i feel like i want to hurt someone i think well so i don't hurt them I'll hurt myself but sometimes it is all about your support i know if i didn't have my mother in law i would be hurting myself a lot more because i never learnt how to control or properly understand my feelings.

hurting yourself I'm learning is only a temporary relief because the feelings that make you feel this way come back and so you are only helping yourself for a small time. i do my best to go to someone i trust to help me, they may mean talking about the hard stuff or trying to talk about how i feel the ways i know how to, there are other ways to cope part of the healing is finding the way you can feel better without feeling shame or guilt.

the reason we need to look for the right way to cope is because we can't go back we can only look forward and do our best to be our best selves

Dear @Mum-mum-mum ,

Thank you for sharing. It is very brave of you to be able to come to a space to space about some of the hurt you have experienced and to see your way of managing as a way to express the hurt inside.

I'm sure there are many who can relate to your experiences and feelings, and hence, I want to reach out to sincerely thank you for sharing.

It gives people hope and strength to continue, despite how hard it may be for them right now.

Please take care and I look forward to seeing you around on the forums.