Accepting care/ support role is unsustainable 🥺

Not sure where this fits but kind of a looking after myself process so 🤷‍

Have been for the last couple of years, together with my darling, supporting my father in law to live at home. After having a heart procedure a over 12 weeks ago (that was supposed to be an over night stay) he has been in hospital with complications both related and unrelated. But the goal was for him to be back at home with us. Up until 2 weeks ago we were planning a family road trip for dad to visit family.

Well today at a family meeting that hope was extinguished. The plan now is for a transition to full time care. While not unexpected I am finding it hard to accept that I / we don't have the capacity to support dad any longer.... kind of feel I have failed, if I had done this or that, if I wasn't working I could have done this or that...

And feeling bad for it but resenting somewhat that the though of having dad home with us has darling in the edge of another breakdown. (Not her fault at all).

And to be fair if we tried and failed I too am at risk of burnout relapse.

Anyway not wanting to whinge just putting some thoughts down as part of letting go.

I guess I am juat a fixer by nature and when I can't be the one to hold things together then I feel I have failed, even if it is things well out of my control.

Juat a little overwhelming atm.

Thanks for 'listening' to my ramble.