hi @Birdofparadise8
I had expressed despair here on the Forums. and I did receive a personal email from Sane checking in on me. I sent back an email (or maybe I responded on here...can't exactly remember) and told them I was tired and that I was occupying myself with poetry, listening to Mary Oliver Poems (on youtube)...
After that, I fell asleep. But sometime during slumber a police officer came around. He had already entered my house before I crawled out of bed, so you could imagine my surprise...
The guy performed his duty well enough, I guess. I had met him before ( it's a small town), and he was OK, personally.
Inspite of that, though, I had all kinds of emotional reactions to police appearing at and inside my house while I slept.
It triggered my anxiety greatly. After the officer left I took more medication than prescribed. I felt outraged that somebody at Sane had been an eager beever who maybe just wanted to press the red button, as it were... I felt my privacy was invaded and annoyed that I had no security after all. I further felt despondent that I can't truly express myself without fear of armed personnel appearing, and faceless others (like mods) activating such force towards me. Hence, increased isolation; frustration; sadness; distrust; despair.
It triggered me greatly because somebody close to me in the recent past has spitefully misused police against me and my children to carry out their own vindictiveness. And that in itself has caused a lot of personal trauma...the last thing I need whilst going through the consequences of that is more of the same while I'm trying to cope...
