Not Coping

I’m listening to sad music as well @creative_writer

It’s fine @creative_writer

Is anyone up for a chat?

I'm not feeling great.

Sure am! Did you work today @Birdofparadise8 ?

No, not today, @tyme.

I had a hard conversation with my regular at KHL about my plan and all.

What about you? Have you been up to much today?

I've been on forums most of today @Birdofparadise8 . I also babysat my sister's kids. So three rascals at home today. They were pretty good until their mum came home, then they went berserk and trashed the house!

As for your call with your KHL regular, what did they say? (Only if you feel up to sharing)

Ah, okay well, I hope you have fun with them @tyme.

She was supportive and all so we made a safety plan, and I have to talk to my aunt, GP and psychologist about it even though I don't want to. I think my aunt will want me to get rid of the stuff I have to hurt myself, but I don't want to.

If I don't feel up to talking to my GP, I might get her or my psych too. It can be a bit harder with a GP. You only talk to them for like 15 min every so often.

I told her I feel I have gone a thousand steps back, even with my depression getting worse and the suicidal ideation. She said that the work I have done doesn't just disappear even if I am getting worse again.

Also, she said do I really want to suicide or just hurt myself. I've never really thought about it like that.

Mostly she is worried about my safety and wants me to be okay.

And it seems like that is with all of us. We are worried, and want you to be okay.

Any plans for tomorrow? @Birdofparadise8

Don't make me cry, @tyme.

I need to watch a lecture video and do some study other than that; who knows? I hope it won't be as bad as today.