Not Coping

I guess me preempting the spiral it might make it more inevitable that it will happen because I'm already telling myself to prepare as if it would @tyme.

Though I don't know how to change it.

I think I get anxious about the spiral because it will lead to SH and intense SI, and I fear what I could do to myself that I don't nesaserily want to do @creative_writer. I don't like being uncomfortable, and being sad nearly every day sucks.

You are on the right track I reckon @Birdofparadise8 . @creative_writer is right in saying that pre-empting is a sign of anxiety, and it really is.

Yet re-framing the thought can really begin to change things. This is part of positive/helpful self talk.

Conversely, if you are always pre-empting you may/will spiral, you are then focusing on that and hoping by chance you won't. In a way, you are expecting it.

If, you employ positive helpful self-talk, it will be reflected in your posts. We are not saying the other thoughts are not present, as you discuss and type about helpful thoughts, the unhelpful thoughts have to take the back seat.

Positive self-talk is so hard though @tyme. I don't like self-compassion I just don't believe I deserve any. How am I supposed to work on re-framing @tyme?

Teach yourself to think positively. It's not meant to be easy, especially if it hasn't been practiced in a long time.

For example, with the train situation, rather than turn the comment inwardly to yourself and dwelling on that, you may want to say to yourself, "So who wouldn't be passive aggressive on a train in Melb"?

When difficult situations arise, tell yourself it is a growth/learning opportunity and you will come out with more understanding.

When your mind tells you that you will 'spiral', you may want to ask yourself, "What can I do to make sure I don't spiral tonight".

Otherwise, you will be waiting for the very thing you do not want.

You won't be great or perfect at it first go.... it is about having those gentle nudges to just keep doing it.

I was given an exercise yesterday: write a letter to myself acknowledging the things I may not like about me. And then continue the letter imagining I was my best friend speaking to me...

Have you ever tried something like that? @Birdofparadise8

So far I've not started my letter. Am thinking about it though

Great idea there @Kyle1

So I write a letter to myself and then read it as if it's my friend reading it to me?

Sorry, I'm a little confused. Should I be saying positive or negative in this letter @Kyle1?

It's a letter to your self. but in two parts. make mention of what you don't like about yourself, or what you think your insufficient at. Even what you're hurting over.

Then, as a best friend might, share some compassionate words to yourself in the letter...

@Birdofparadise8