Not Coping

Hi @Birdofparadise8

Hope the footy is fun! I went to a live game today at Blunstone arena... Nth Melb. V Port A. It was fun. Going out to see a singer tonight.

@Birdofparadise8 are your parents in Melbourne?

I wish they could put on a happy face at least while they're with you. Can you talk to them about it? Probably not huh.

Yes it was @Blackbird11

That would have been good. I hope you enjoy your night out.

No, they are in Hobart, but they are complaining to me about each other. @ENKELI

@Birdofparadise8 got you. That's inappropriate of them to do that. Can you just tell them you're not comfortable with them bad mouthing each other? You need to make a stand princess, you're their daughter, not their counsellor

I guess, but I only asked my dad why his mum wasn't going over for lunch, and then he started saying all this stuff about Mum and their finances.

I just won't discuss it with them at all. I don't like it. It was awful the way my dad was swearing at my mum. I don't like it when they treat each other rudely. My Dad can carry on a bit as well. @ENKELI

Anyway, we were talking about rejection earlier. It's interesting we both see things in a similar way.

What did you need help with how do I manage it? I have no clue.

@Birdofparadise8 good that you don't engage with your dad complaining about your mum.

I have felt rejected by my aunt, I was always really close to her until her youngest son got married. I was at a party for my uncle (her husband) and I was standing next to her and a friend of hers. Daughter in law walks in and my aunt introduced her to her friend and completely ignored me. I was so hurt, especially as my aunt kept going on about her beautiful daughter in law. I felt like I was invisible. My aunts friend turned tome and I said "I'm just the niece." My aunt laughed and still didn't introduce me.

I told my mum and she said my aunt didn't mean anything by it. I should have known mum would support her sister.

I just feel like a failure in my family lately. My dad's sister died last Friday and he didn't even tell me. I found out from a woman I work with who knew my aunt. And thenthe funeral was on Thursday and I wasn't told until after it was over. I'm so hurt and pissed atmy family. Like I'm not even thought of. That kind of rejection just sucks and I don't know how to process it and get through it.

I got rejected so much last year I feel like there is something wrong with me.

Oh, @ENKELI, I'm so sorry. That would be difficult with your aunt. Can you say anything?

Yes, you did tell me what happened with your aunt who died and how your work colleague told you. I'm sorry you weren't invited to the funeral. That would be awful.

Ah, yes, with your ex-best friend. I definitely feel for you. Rejection, for me, feels like being wounded [editd by moderator] over and over again.

@Birdofparadise8 same here. What do you do to get over it? I'd like to be able to be less sensitive and not get so upset when I feel like someone is rejecting me. Sometimes I can tell myself "you are not being rejected, your perception is over reacting" if that makes sense.

I wonder where your feelings of rejection stems from.

For me, a doctor once explained my rejection fears come from my dad leaving when I was only 5 and not having contact with him until I was about 12.

How are you feeling now regarding the loneliness you were experiencing last night?

@ENKELI @Former-Member

I hope you can make it to the chat tomorrow. Here is the link link.

Mmmm, @ENKELI, I suppose I can process it by talking about it, whether here or with my psych, khl, etc.

I would say it comes from school. I was rejected from prep to grade 12, so what 5 - 18, so 13 years of my life.

Oh well, I'm busy editing the research assignment, so once that's done, I'll see how I'm feeling. I'm alright at the moment. My roommates aren't here, so they aren't yelling loudly, so I'm happy.

How do you know you're overreacting?

@Birdofparadise8 I got the link too, thanks 💙💐

I know I'm over reacting sometimes, my first thought might be envy over not being included in something which turns to feeling rejected. Depending on the situation I can talk myself out of the feeling. An example was yesterday at work. I've become close to 2 of the girls in my office and after work I thought they didn't want me to hang out with them. They did, they were just waiting for the other 2 girls in the office to leave because they didn't want them to join us for after work drinks. I'm using CBT to change my negative mindset that tells me no one wants me.

After I'd sent that message I thought back to what you'd told me and realised you would have felt rejected throughout school.

I had friends whose parents wouldn't let me play with them out of school because my parents were divorced. This happened at both primary and secondary school.

Are you still able to have your psych sessions? I know you've been concerned about the financial side of things.