Not Coping

By the way, I'm not always glued to my phone, mainly when I'm on here and alone (I use my computer more on here). If people are around, I'm not on my phone as much.

What if someone replies back to me?

Either don't post on forums at all, or if you do, make the post but then leave for a while to focus on self-soothing or distraction until you're feeling more regulated, as opposed to feeling glued to the refresh button.

How would I know if I haven't checked my emails to know if I haven't got a reply?

When you do want to return to forums, check in with yourself - if you've gotten no replies, will this make you feel crappy? If so, is it a good time to return to forums?

I think I made a post about that anxious/preoccupied attachment style.

Thank you @Jynx

Thank you @Snowie

I just feel bad. I know people are busy, but I can't stop.

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@Birdofparadise8 wrote:

What if someone replies back to me?

How would I know if I haven't checked my emails to know if I haven't got a reply?

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If someone replies to you and you aren't hitting refresh or keeping forums open, then just as others reply when they have capacity, so too do you only need to reply when you have capacity. You don't owe people responses; no one owes that to anyone. Perhaps you feel compelled to respond straight away because that's what you want from others, because you don't want others to feel distressed at a lack of response like you do - what do you think?

That's the point, you won't know someone has replied until you're ready to know. You wanna extend the amount of time between the preoccupied behaviours and fill that in with internal sources of regulation, instead of compulsively seeking the external ones. It's about building up your internal skills, resources, resilience, self-worth, all of it - so that getting replies on forums becomes just a nice part of your day, instead of something that can end up dictating whether or not you spiral.

Thank you @creative_writer

I hope so too.

Yes, that's exactly right @Jynx

That sounds hard to do. I don't know how to build up my own sources of regulation.

That's the point, you won't know someone has replied until you're ready to know. You wanna extend the amount of time between the preoccupied behaviours and fill that in with internal sources of regulation, instead of compulsively seeking the external ones. It's about building up your internal skills, resources, resilience, self-worth, all of it - so that getting replies on forums becomes just a nice part of your day, instead of something that can end up dictating whether or not you spiral.

By the way @creative_writer @Jynx

Mum was face timing me going over my presentation, so that's why I didn't reply. She literally called right when she saw the emails.

Yeah, I know. I wasn't trying to be rude. It's just how I feel @ArraDreaming

I know people are busy. But even if we weren't, I would still feel the same.

I'm sorry. It's just who I am.

By the way, I wasn't referring to me doing this all the time; it's when I'm more distressed or not feeling good.

@ArraDreaming

It really has nothing to do with anyone on here. It's all about how I feel when I shouldn't feel this.

@Birdofparadise8learning to self regulate is a skill. Not everyone is taught how to self regulate, not everyone has role models. Adults in our lives (often parents) play a huge role in role modelling how they cope with distress. Even if you were not taught from a young age, you can learn now