Not Coping

Hey there @Birdofparadise8 ☺️🌺

It’s so great we get to connect here - this is a really safe space to talk about feelings and gain different perspectives… and, I’d like to say that sometimes when we’ve been through some really hard times, when it comes to understanding new situations our executive understanding of it and our emotional interpretation don’t always match. But, that’s ok 🙂🌺

that is what having the ability to talk to other people is for here on the forums ☺️

It takes time to build the skills and knowledge in learning how to question reactions and intense feelings about situations or interactions, and put them into a place where you can comfortably reconcile them or view them from a different perspective 💜🙂

I think it’s great we are talking about it - bringing this topic to light is a really positive and valuable discussion here, because when we have feelings that aren’t positive and they cause us some distress it’s always better to give them some air, instead of keeping them hidden away…what do you think? 🙂🌺🤗

Thank you @PizzaMondo

I'm trying to cut my script down, and once it's done, I'm going to practice, practice, practice. We can have notes but can't stand there reading and not looking at them.

hahahah, honey is good. I do try and buy a low sugar one.

Yeah I do hope so to, but me and night time don't always go to plan.

That’s a huge achievement so far @Birdofparadise8 🙌🏻☺️

you’ve condensed by 1/4 already 😊

so the hardest stuff to condense is always the meaty/heavy on the info stuff…

I wonder: can you draw out key words and make very concise points, as a method of attempting to refine it? Hmm.. just trying to toss around some methods of summarising 🙂🌺

What do you think? ☺️

I'm not sure I can do that.

how to question reactions and intense feelings about situations or interactions and put them into a place where you can comfortably reconcile them or view them from a different perspective

Like yesterday, I saw your post, and then it was like I crumbled. @Former-Member

I think it's because I was feeling vulnerable in the first place when I asked you.

I guess I'm used to people leaving me, but I know you won't, or well, I hope you won't.

Giving them some air is a good thing.

I'll talk about it with my psych on Wednesday as well and see what he thinks.

Do you have an idea why I got so upset? Why would I feel rejected even though I know you're only going for the night and need a break? Which I totally understand, by the way.

Thank you for understanding, though. I worry a lot about what people think of me or if I say how I feel about them when they have done something. By the way, it's not your fault at all. It's all mine, and my annoying brain sends alarm bells off in my head.

I feel really guilty because you apologised for what you said, but truly it's not your fault. It's all me @Former-Member

Hi @Birdofparadise8

I watched Cabrini, a wonderful story.

I had my appointment and it went really well. About to go grocery shopping. How is your day going?

Haha, that's funny. Combined the best of both.

I don't know if I don't have uni or other things to do. I can become sad and lonely. That's why I'm on here. @PizzaMondo

Okay that's good to hear @Blackbird11

What food will you get?

Did you see the salad I'm going to make for dinner tonight with the chicken in the cool along thread?

It's alright I'm working on my presentation script.

If your following on with other posts. I'm getting a bit emotional at time.

I hear you @Birdofparadise8 ☺️🌺

it’s not easy to do, trying to question ourselves for validity of feelings when things can feel so set in stone, however part of what I tend to do each day is reflect on things and check if I’m feeling emotions in line with the situation, or try to think outside of myself if other factors that were influencing the situation (like if I was already feeling vulnerable beforehand, or someone else’s interactions didn’t land too well)…I thought I’d mention it so you have a little insight into how I use different methods to balance feelings with situations or interactions 🙂🌺

And my general rule is: unless someone tells me otherwise, I trust that all is well 🙂

One thing I’d like to kindly ask you to do please Birdofparadise? If you ever have strong feelings like the ones you’ve described in your chat message

“Like yesterday, I saw your post, and then it was like I crumbled”

please do tag that, and I can help you with reframing that straight away, ok? 🙂🌺🙌🏻

What do you think of something like: ‘when you said you’re resting for the evening, I felt vulnerable/upset/something is wrong - can you give me your perspective PF?’

..and I will definitely reply with clarification - do you think this will help? ☺️🌺💜

Have a chat with your psychologist is a good thing too, and getting their view may indeed be insightful 😀🙌🏻🌺

Im not 100% sure regarding feelings of rejection, but I know I would feel intense rejection if new friends would say they weren’t able to chat or hang out, when I was recovering from bullying, because instantly I felt I had done something wrong - but of course, that just wasn’t true..they just happened to be doing something else at that time 🙂🌺

it took me a while to learn and accept that (which took a lot of unlearning of habits where I felt responsible for how others felt).

Please always keep in mind that even if you’re feeling uncertain, the connections are real and I really enjoy reading your posts, and I’ll never judge you 🙂🌺🤗💜