Not Coping

Hi this is my first time here

No worries and thank you kindly @Birdofparadise8 🙂🌺

The attributes you’ve kindly mentioned do take time to grow and develop.. please don’t expect too much of yourself right now, ok? Give yourself time to grow, reflect, and make those all important mistakes that give much learning 🙂🌺💜

I believe it takes a lifetime to learn how to do life, sometimes! 🙂

yes, I do understand regarding the other people you’re living with, regarding their stuff. However, it is still a shared space, so I do tend to think that it’s the space that should be recognised and respected as an area that needs mindful cleanliness, so as to not cause that space to be uncomfortable for any one person by someone else imposing (eg: their dishes) upon that space 🙂

That sounds a bit isolating in terms of how it felt on Monday - I’m sorry 😔❤️‍🩹

I think maybe tossing around a few scenario conversations might be helpful?
sometimes I play out the conversation in my imagination, and look at the foreseeable reactions and how I might feel and respond (instead of reacting) in each scenario… give yourself time, and we are here for you 💜🙂🌺

Ah okay have a good night @Blackbird11

I know you say that, but how did you develop them. Is it something that just comes from age and experience.

I know it wasn't very nice. I had all the emotions of RO that evening as well. It was like double rejection happening. I wanted to cry. I don't think I did at that point I had already cried a lot.

I don't know how they will respond as I've only known them for a couple months. @Former-Member

@Birdofparadise8 okay I'm back, what did I miss? Did the room mates clean their stuff and put it away? Did the annoying one stop her weird noises? Did it snow while I was gone? Details! I need details!!

Lol, I have returned!
Had to feed the cats and swap over my laptop as well as discuss getting a plumber with my bro.

How are you going?

Hahaha, you're awsome @ENKELI

One left a cereral wraper and my sicciors out as well. And no the washing up that isn't washed up is still there. Like come on it's just normal small things to do.

OMG, by the way, the ice cream I mentioned before is half price at Woolworths, so I got the chocolate and vanilla 😀 They didn't have mint 😥

Everyone is in the rooms, so there is no noise, and I have my headphones on, listening to Taylor swift.

Can I say thank you @ENKELI @Former-Member

Since Friday has been very hard, but tonight right now I'm feeling okay. You both have been very kind, and it's been great to understand you both more.

@Birdofparadise8 aw thanks sweetie, you are so welcome. I enjoy chatting with you, you're a lovely person. I am also learning to just listen and not offer advice to you too, so I hope I'm doing better 🤗

I might have to sneak into the Woollies up the road from me and get some ice cream while it's on sale.

I have boycotted Woolworths because ex friend works there but ever since the new store opened just up the road from me I can go in there with my head held high!

Ice cream. Yum! The vanilla bean is the best!

Hm, maybe we can lock the roommates in their rooms and threaten not to let them out until they start behaving. I may only be 5ft 4 but I can be scary when I have to be!! Lol!

Yes; I get where you’re coming from @Birdofparadise8 🙂🌺

time does help, because you get to learn lots of little details about yourself and others, and this makes it easier as time passes, to be able to talk to people and understand them on a deeper level..there’s a lot less of the ‘unknown’ or the less-predictable nature of life and interactions.
I’d say it’s time/age, life experiences and how you can frame them over time to have less impact from them, and more reflective knowledge from them, and just a bunch of reflection - the way I do this bit is imagine it’s a good natured trusted friend giving me their perspective on the day, and I do this each day or so when I have a bit of time to myself. For instance, tomorrow, I will take a moment to reflect on our conversations here this evening, and ask myself if I would have said anything differently, and if what I was saying was helpful and with a purpose 🌺💜🙂

I’m really sorry you’re going through these hard times, with several sides coming at you at once ❤️‍🩹

It’s very hard to cope with what might happen with the flatmates if you choose to initiate a discussion about respecting living space when there’s already stress happening in your life - the amount of energy and investment is a lot..sometimes too much. I do understand 💜

even though it seems difficult because you haven’t known them long, sometimes (not always) people are less entrenched in their habits when things are still in early stages, so an earlier discussion may indeed work out better then later on, if that makes sense? However having said that, I totally understand that this needs to happen when you have a feeling of your own personal resources and resilience in place 🌺🙂💜

And one thing I’d like to gently remind you of: you’re not responsible for how anyone else behaves, ok dearest? If someone reacts, rather than responding, that is a reflection on them - and it’s an opportunity for them to see what’s happening, and make amends if they choose to 🙂

All you can do is be responsible for you 🌺🙂💜

Thank you @ENKELI

I do appreciate that. I'll ask for advice if I would like some. I do have something to ask about my psych session, and he said in a minute if that's okay.

That's good to hear. Couldn't you go on days she isn't there?

Lol, I can't get in their room. We all have swipe card access.

I'm 160cm. How tall are you in cm?

Their rooms are so messy. I don't know how they live in such messy environments. Did i say how one left more rubbish on the bench and didn't put MY scissors away.

See my nice and tidy room!!! @ENKELI @Former-Member

One thing: is this all about my roommates or your post?

Thank you. Just another day in my life. I am somehow used to it with how I would have a lot of people bullying me at once. I do wonder why I can't handle rejection any better. It's been the same since high school, my reaction. If anything, it's gotten worse as I'm more alone and don't have the school structure and my parents around.

I would like to say something, but I just don't know how.

My aunt and uncle say I need to accept it because it's shared housing, but I say I shouldn't have to live with rubbish and unclean things.

That is true. But if I say something and they do react and are angry at me then I've got to live with that for the whole year. @Former-Member