Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8 you'll find something, it can be annoying to have to keep searching and it can take time to find the right balance of support. Keep at it though 🤞

I'm off for tonight, hope you have a chill evening.

Sending you some love as well @ENKELI I know it's rough to have that happen with a friend - hopefully you two will be able to hash it out and even if you can't have some alone time for this event, you can plan another occasion to catch up in the way you are craving 💜

Yeah, I'll try to @Jynx

Have a good night.

Hi @tyme

Hey @Birdofparadise8 . I feel like a yo yo between things today. lol

Why is that @tyme

I feel like every time I say hi to you, I get yo-yo'd away, then i come back to say hi, then have to go again, then come back again lol @Birdofparadise8

I'm really sorry about that.

So yes, we were at the Taylor Swift concert conversation and that you will be going on Saturday. I didn't realise how 'big' this event would be! You must be so excited!

Yeah, I was going to ask about that. You like my post and then never reply, or you do reply, but then I'll reply, and you have to go.

Yeah next Saturday @tyme

My mood stabiliser was increased yesterday. It was below the therapeutic range, so that could be a reason why things have gone downhill.

I'm not sure if you are up on what's happened with my psych from my session yesterday.

Hey @Birdofparadise8 ,

Yeah, that sounds right with my posting patterns. So much is happening in the background and I get yo-yo'd away.

I read about increasing meds. I also read about your aunt and uncle and how you feel you jump to the worst-case scenario e.g. they don't want to talk to you.

But no, I haven't caught up on the psych appt yet.

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@Birdofparadise8 wrote:

Yeah, that's true @Jynx

Yes, well, it's like Tuesday was awful, and I could tell him all about that and a few things that triggered me, but if we were to talk about how it made me feel telling him that I would feel nothing and for months he has been doing that to me and challenging me, but I just don't think there is anything there. I hope I'm not broken.

He said he was going to talk with some colleagues to see what else we could do. I hope he won't want to pass me onto someone else I still find it hard talking to him.

I won't cope with that. Yesterday, when we were talking about how often to have a session, I thought he was going to say something bad and want to have less, but then he said he thinks weekly, and I was all for that.

OMG, SANE just emailed me and said they go on postcode. I was told I didn't need to worry about that. The two people who I spoke to said it was okay since I was from Hobart. Now I'm crying. Why can't things be simple?

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@tyme

My psych said he would speak to some colleagues to see what else he could do to help me. He had another look over a cognitive assignment I had a couple of years ago and how it never mentioned I would have a block with my emotions.

I'll try to explain it as best I can.

So we would talk about how I feel and bring it back to something and say it's about how I treat myself, and I know it's not nice, but then how does it make you feel in the moment, which I don't know. So he said maybe it's not the best approach as it's like I blocked from it. He said people would say they are angry or sad because it is where I can't name anything. I don't feel anything. I want to Google about it, but I'm not sure what all this would even be called.

We also talked about my uncle and aunt and how I try to make an effort in their lives, but they don't do the same by asking me similar questions.

We talked about last night and how hard it was. I was crying on and off from about 4 to 11 pm.

He couldn't belive that my meds weren't at the right dose so no wonder why things have been so much harder.

I think it's more than I can't express how I feel when I'm with my psych as there is nothing there when we talk about my painful experience.

@tyme