Not Coping

One thing, though, I was telling my psych that, and he was validating it about how he messages me.

Why would he do that if I need to not let it upset me @ENKELI

Okay cool @RiverSeal

Are you listening to TS.

I think I was meaning how my psych validated that people wouldn't message me.

Where @ENKELI said

it didn't happen straight away. I had to change my way of thinking. I also told my brother how it makes me feel and he is like a safe space to throw my thoughts at.

People are busy and they become wrapped up in their own lives so they don't think that their actions might affect others.

Don't get me wrong, I still get pissed that I have to reach out all the time but I choose not to let it upset me so much. It's a matter of changing your own thoughts, which is where CBT comes in. I also do a lot of praying so my faith is a huge help to me. The hardest part is struggling at the start and not seeing anything change. It's like getting fit - you can't expect to run 20km the first day but the more you work at it the easier it becomes.

What do you think @RiverSeal

Yes exactly @RiverSeal

I have a whole list of some.

But they are all male and female, falling in love type of things with sex, etc.

My mum couldn't believe I was reading some of the stuff, hahhaha.

I've got to learn somehow.

@Birdofparadise8 I understood what you meant. Like I said, I can only go by my experience and what helped me.

Your psych validating you is part of your treatment journey. For me, having it explained to me that I am over-thinking other peoples' actions worked for me and made me realise that just because I think my mum only contacting me when she wants something, it doesn't mean my mum believes that's what she's doing.

Your situation is different and I can only give you suggestions. I'm glad you brought this up, it shows that just because the suggestion I made worked for me, doesn't mean it will work for you.

I hope that clears things up? Your psych knows you better than I do too 🙂

That's okay @ENKELI

the thing is, though, I shut down when he does validate me, and I laugh it off and do not try to feel how I am in front of him.

I don't really have anyone to message anyway other than here, RO, my aunt, and my uncle when it comes to MH.

For today, my friend texted to see what I'm doing right now, and I said I was cleaning up and I might read my book before I go to bed. then he asked if I wanted to go out even though I told him last week I couldn't because I'm broke. Anyway he asked why I said why and then he said don't you like crowds I said no that's not the issue just the money and that I don't feel up to it. It's been a long week. I was kind of leading him on and hoping he might ask why, but he didn't.

@Birdofparadise8 your psych validating you even though you shut down makes sense to me, it sounds like he's getting you used to being validated so you change how you react. Again, just my very humble opinion.

The guy may be thinking that you don't want to talk about it so that's why he's not pressing? It's a new friendship isn't it?
For me personally, if a guy was to give me his complete history within a couple of weeks of meeting him, I would be a bit freaked. Again, that is me. I am not used to sharing my life and stuff so it takes a while for me to open up when it comes to meeting someone in person. I need to trust because my trust has been betrayed before.
I once met a guy online and we talked for weeks before meeting. I told him about my MH and that I had been cheated on. After 18 months of being with him he used everything I'd told him against me and since then I have been so careful. I don't tell anyone about my personal stuff anymore except here at Sane.

No i've known him for a year @ENKELI

I'm talking about my uni friend @ENKELI

The other one only knows I have depression, but I haven't said anything about it. He asked because I said I had an appointment, and he asked what the appointment was and then asked why I was seeing a psych.

Hey @ENKELI @RiverSeal

I'm going to bed. I've taken my meds, and I'm about to fall asleep. So I'll talk to you both tomorrow if you are around.

Night @Birdofparadise8 sleep well and chat tomorrow 🙂 RiverSeal

sleep well @Birdofparadise8 😴