Not Coping

Yeah, that's true, but I'm struggling so much with being alone, which is making my depression worse.

My psych said it's as if I'm in solitary confinement. @Snowie

Perhaps you can organise a few things during the week so you are not as alone @Birdofparadise8 Maybe catching up with some people, going for walks/rides, going to the gym. Things that can get you out of the house a bit more.

Yeah, well, I'm seeing some girls tomorrow after that brunch I did a couple of weeks ago.

I can't see my other friend for a bit because of his work, and who knows about my aunt and uncle @Snowie

That's all the people I've got. I am trying to not be as alone.

To be honest, even tomorrow, I could very well still feel alone sitting with them. You know that feeling even when your surrounded by heaps of people and you still feel that loneliness in you.

I know that feeling of loneliness @Birdofparadise8 You can be surrounded by people yet still feel like you're the only person in the room.

The fact that you are putting yourself out there and trying to connect with people is really good. It might not always work but at least you are giving it a go. Well done for that.

Yeah, it's a hard feeling to overcome.

Feeling lonely alone and when with people.

It's a lose lose for me, but thank you @Snowie

What are you doing today?

Not up to a lot today @Birdofparadise8 Need to go up the street soon, just finishing of the washing.

Spoke to my pdoc this morning and a hospital visit has been arranged for next Friday to review meds and have ECT. Am hoping I am not in for too long.

Oh, are you in the hospital @Snowie

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things aren't too bad. Gosh, I'm sorry to be telling you all this about me when you're struggling.

I will be in for at least 3 weeks @Birdofparadise8 I am hoping no longer then that but I guess will have to see how it goes. I'll have ECT three times per week and they will look at changing some of my meds too. Then I probably do more ECT as an outpatient, but that will only be once per week. I have had it before and it has helped so am hoping it does this time too.

No need to apologise. We all have our struggles. Doesn't make them less important then somebody else's.

Ah okay. I hope after the ECT; things get better for you @Snowie

I know for myself just getting put on the mood stabiliser that made a huge impact. I also considered ECT but was against it with having exams.

Have you had ECT a few times?

How does your family cope with you in hospital?

I have had ect probably about 7-8 times now @Birdofparadise8 Sometimes as an inpatient and sometimes as an outpatient.

My kids are 16 and 18 so they understand to a point. They know I have CPTSD from work and childhood but of course don't know the details nor my other diagnosis's. They normally cope pretty well when I am admitted. It does help that I have a supportive husband at home. It does make it easier but I still feel the guilt of going in.

The hardest person to tell is my mum. She isn't really supportive for me going in. She is not the type to think it does any good. She herself has her own issues but has never sought out help for them. She did see a psych once but said it didn't help so she never went back. She does not believe in that sort of thing.