Not Coping

I'm sorry you had that experience with them @Birdofparadise8

Have you ever tried SCBS or life line? I find both can be good.

It is for lunch. In saying that better go have a shower and get ready. I hope your day goes well.

Thank you @Snowie

It's never happened before. I will talk to my regular either tomorrow or sometime next week and see what happened.

Yeah, but I don't really like them. I talked to Beyond Blue at the end of last night on Webchat, and the person just left when I was about to say something, so I went to bed.

Okay have a good day.

Oh yeah, from your email @tyme

I wanted to ask you something about personal space.

When you were younger, I would assume you lived with your parents and sister. I'm unsure who else was in the picture. Anyway, were you allowed to go to your room for some alone time if you wanted?

From what you said, it seems like you can have that as an adult.

Maybe my parents didn't understand needing space, but I was never allowed to go to my room and have space. I thought all families were like that until I asked people. I would always be upstairs. Mum would get annoyed enough as it is if I would go on my computer to watch something, let alone in my room.

She would now say if I had, it would be bad because of my depression being alone in my room.

Even when I went down recently, I wouldn't even try to go downstairs to be on my own.

Maybe because I was always around them and didn't get that time alone, that's another reason why I can't cope with being alone. Maybe that's why things intensified last night and then being told with KHL I couldn't talk to them it made things worse.

Another thing I'm thinking about is if I did have a sibling, then my parents might have done things differently, and I would have had alone time, but anyway, I didn't, so that's that.

What are your thoughts on this?

I was an only child, but I was never alone.

I think being alone and then being told I can't talk to anyone is one of my biggest triggers. If I'm not mistaken, I'm sure you know that from what happens around here sometimes.

Some interesting thoughts there @Birdofparadise8 .

Actually when I was younger, there was no concept of having alone time. I somehow think 'alone' time is a modern day concept. As children, I had to share a bedroom with both my sisters. In other words, the three of us were in the ONE room. Whether we were happy, sad, angry, we still had to be in the one room. No one was allowed to shut doors, let alone lock them. When we moved houses, my parents removed all locks on all bedroom doors just to ensure we never locked our rooms.

If you think back to cave times, people who wanted 'alone' time were the most vulnerable. It meant they were open to attacks from predators. Safety was about being together with others. The bigger the group, the safer it was.

If you look at many eastern cultures, even today, the females all sleep in a room, and the males all sleep in a room. Prior to that, the whole family would living, eating, sleeping in the one room. This is not just because 'there wasn't enough space', but this was seen as safety. I've even read about people in the Gaza-Israel war. They stay together at all times, even going to the toilet because they said that if there's an attack, they want to stay together, including die together.

Perhaps in modern day, when people are allowed to have 'space', take their devices into their rooms, shut the door and not want to come out, is actually what has led to what we have today? Not sure. But's it's certainly such an interesting point you have raised. When you have time, I'd be interested if you can find any research articles about it.

I'm not saying having 'space' or alone time is good or bad. It's just very different to what evolution has required of mankind.

Yes, well, we are definitely not in a war zone here @tyme

I wouldn't want to be with my parents for everything.

Ah okay. You mentioned you could escape, so I was wondering what things were like for you as a child compared to now.

One thing you mentioned about me reaching out and not reaching out. What do you mean?

I haven't needed to go onto KHL or another service for some time now, maybe the end of September, after the attempt and when I was in hospital.

It also doesn't help when one person tells me I should talk to them because I seem distressed, and then another tells me not to. I'm sure you know what I'm referring to.

I try to stand on my own two feet until I can't, which I really tried to do last night.

I did reply to your post from last night this morning as well @tyme

Sorry @Birdofparadise8 . I don't know what to say.

I just hope things get better for you today as you engage in meaningful activities.

Right okay. Well, I'm going to the gym shortly anyway, so it doesn't matter @tyme.

Have a good day.

morning @Birdofparadise8 , @tyme , @Snowie , @Blackbird11 , @creative_writer

Hi @Shaz51