Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8 Hey hun, I'm sorry to hear that the next couple weeks are gonna be tough for you. It's hard not to feel so lonely when you're isolated for extended periods. Is there anything your uni is doing, some events or something in the lead up to the festive season that you could join in?

No, uni is getting more quieter as the days go on. I want my friend back, but he doesn't know when he will come to Melbourne. I feel like it's been so long since we've seen each other. I really miss him.

I've texted my uncle to see if he would be free next week, but I doubt it. He and my aunt go to Hobart on the 17th. He is also very busy. He has such a busy social life. Something I don't have.

It's been hard enough last week, let alone another 15 days of it. I feel that with each day that goes by, I'm getting more sad and lonely. I can keep making myself busy with going to the gym, bike riding, artwork, etc, but I need more than that. I just want someone to talk to. I hate being this lonely.

At least at Christmas, I won't. We have about 16 - 17 people in our family. It could be more or less with all the changes. Then, it will be complicated by me needing to make myself look happy if I'm not feeling good. It's so exhausting.

I've just got to push through and be open for Jan when I move into my new 3-bed apartment. With 2 others, I don't know.

I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I have uni for a couple of hours a week, that's it. At least I have the one constant my psych. Literally after seeing him this week on Wednesday, I have dinner with my aunt, and then I won't see anyone again until I see him again next Wednesday. How sad is that @Jynx?

It's only sad if you decide it is such @Birdofparadise8 - you are in control of your own narratives. In my eyes it's not sad at all, and I've certainly had periods in my life that were quite similar. Not sad to be taking brave steps to ensure you're getting support, and to ask for help when you need it.

I'm glad to hear you're moving in with some folks! That sounds like a wonderful opportunity to make some new connections. I know a month to wait feels like an age, but it'll roll around before you know it.

With your fam, I understand maintaining a smile can be super exhausting. I always take heaps of breaks and if anyone asks, I just tell them I'm feeling overstimulated and need some moments alone to recharge. Seems to do the trick. Could you do something similar?

Yeah, I guess that part isn't sad, but the fact I'm so alone and don't have anyone is sad, and the fact I need to rely on other people so I'm not sad makes me feel worse. I've been crying on and off most of the day today. I know I'm in control, but I don't have anything else to control I can't help feeling sad.

With my family, nothing is a secret, so if I said I felt overstimulated or something else, I would have a million questions or the third degree. It is at my house so I can go down to my room or the bathroom if I need to. I can say I have diarrhea hahaha lol. No, I won't, but imagine. @Jynx

I'd get the third degree about that.

@Birdofparadise8 needing to rely on others is... the human experience in a nutshell hun. Our modern world seems to have adopted this view that we're all supposed to be able to function as individuals, which completely disregards the fact that we've literally evolved to be social animals, that our ability to rely on others and ask for help is our most important survival tactic. Which is why losing people, being socially isolated, or feeling rejected, have such massive impacts on our mental health. They literally ping the same parts of our brain that would be going off if we were being chased by tigers. In short, give yourself a break! You're doing amazingly with everything you are enduring, and your sadness makes sense.

Hahaha diarrhea is a brilliant backup excuse if you need it! Tends to mean that folks won't wanna come near you 😝

That is true, but I feel bad about relying on my aunt and uncle, I guess. They are busy people, and I don't want them to feel like they have to be with me or help me. Which they said they don't mind as we are family, but it's an internal thing with feeling guilty.

Thank you, though I appreciate you saying that.

Yeah, I know it came to me because my Nan, who died recently, would also go over her bowel habits and her constipation. @Jynx

Guilt is definitely a tough one to contend with @Birdofparadise8 though perhaps you can trust that your aunt and uncle will take steps to look after their own needs, and let you know if/when they need to take a step back?

Bahaha gotta love the older gen, just telling it like it is!

Yes, I'm sure they will. I did ask them to tell me if it gets to much or if I'm talking about myself to much as well @Jynx

I've texted my uncle a few hours ago to see if he would be free to catch up next week so I hope we can.

Yes, I know right.

Always worth a try hey @Birdofparadise8 - your aunt and uncle sound like wonderful people.

Maybe you can challenge your nan to a gross-off ahaha

I can't. She is dead @Jynx.

Yes, they are.

I'm so alone other wise.